The Romance of the Canoness: A Life-HistoryHeyse, Paul
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The Romance of the Canoness: A Life-History
Heyse, Paul
German fiction -- Translations into English
"I never go to the theatre during the evening performances," she
answered, rising. "I will not allow the suspicion that I do not
consider the acting of the company worth looking at, so I sometimes
come to the rehearsals, which also serves the purpose of enabling me to
call my husband's attention to many points when we are alone. True, it
is of little use," she added, with a resigned smile; "these second-rate
people, among whom we are placed, are the very ones that have an
exalted opinion of their own talent and knowledge of art. But I feel in
a certain sense responsible for the acting of my husband, who is a
genuine artist, and I know that my opinion is not a matter of
indifference to him.
"Besides, dear friend," she added, after a pause, "you can not imagine
how lonely I am. So completely without society, except the company at
the dinner-table, I sometimes feel the necessity of sharing some sphere
of life, even though I might desire it to be a different one."
Then she thanked me for having granted her husband's request, and we
left the theatre together. On our way, while she frequently glanced
back to see if her husband were not at last following us, I told her
that I had determined to continue my journey to-day, and now positively
intended to take my departure on the morrow.
"You are right," she answered. "What should detain you here? You are
not fitted for these surroundings."
Then, after a pause, she added: "Write to me if you change your
residence. I should always like to know where you are to be found, for
I have one earnest desire, which I have long secretly counted on you to
fulfill. When you have a parish, or a good wife, such as I desire for
you, I should be glad to put my son in your charge."
"Do you intend to part with the child?"
"Yes, dear friend," she replied, her brows contracting with an
expression of pain. "How I am to bear it I do not know. But my
resolution is fixed. He must grow up in a perfectly pure atmosphere.
While he is a child, I guard him myself. But how long will that be?
Even now it is almost impossible for me to reconcile all my duties.
When I go to the rehearsals I am compelled to trust him to Kunigunde,
who is an excellent person, but does not always take the right course
with him, and he shall not accompany me to the theatre. It would be
worse than if I were to give him brandy to drink, instead of milk."
Then we grew silent. "Poor woman!" a voice in my heart continually
repeated; "you are indeed lonely."
Meantime we had returned to the town, and then something happened,
whose memory even now makes my heart throb faster.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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