"And it was about that time of my worrying about Roger's health that
I noticed that the relations between him and Antony had changed since
I had had the feeling that they were so interested in each other as
scarcely to notice me. But I can't express it except by saying that
they seemed gradually to have changed from a great amiability to an
electric kind of chaff--which, as that about Antony and finance, Roger
generally led and Antony followed as best he could. I remembered then
what you had told me about them at school, but there was nothing like
that between them now, no jeers from Antony, and only a very kindly
sort of contempt from Roger. It was contempt surely enough, that look
Roger gave him now and then, but a contempt wrapped in a good-natured
smile: his 'Antony' smile, I rather jealousy called it to myself, for
he had never turned to _me_ with that particular kind of good-nature
with which he smiled at Antony. And there was certainly no such
quarrelsomeness as we had all come to expect from Antony, even when
Roger might sting just a little bit sharply; in fact, the remarkable
thing about him, I thought, was his great deference, not so much to
Roger, but to Roger's intelligence. He seemed to have convinced himself
that his brother was the cleverest man in the world, and he had a way
of sometimes repeating what Roger had just said tacked on to one of his
great laughs, and an air about him as though to say: 'Just look what a
clever brother I've got!'
"What could I think about Antony, my dear! To me he was always
charming, but charming, and quite naturally. Antony, as you know,
always wore courtesy when he needed it like a rather flamboyant cloak
flapping in a north wind, but to me he was always quite natural with
it--just as in those days at your flat when I liked him so genuinely.
But I had somehow come to mistrust him--and more deeply than one can
mistrust one's friends' weaknesses while continuing to like them. And
when I saw, or felt I saw, that contempt in Roger's eyes, I was more
than ever uncomfortable about Antony. It seemed that Roger mistrusted
him too--but that he didn't mind mistrusting him, it made no difference
to his liking for him! Imagine the smoke from that dim fire, the
theories that would chase through my head as we sat at dinner, often
rather silently! And then the next moment I would wonder impatiently
what the deuce all the fuss was about. They were such friends, after
all!... But no sense of absurdity could so easily rid me of the feeling
that Roger knew very well what Antony was about, but that he was just
waiting, ever so good-naturedly, just letting things be. Roger to let
things be!..."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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