Artists -- Fiction; England -- Fiction; Love stories; Rich people -- Fiction
At last he spoke. "I had not thought of myself," he said slowly. "I
cannot explain how it comes to pass, but I have not thought of myself
at all, since my mind has been full of you. Therefore I had not
realised how little there is in me that you could care for. I believed
you had felt as I did, that we were--just each other's." For a moment
he put out his hand as if he would have touched her. Then it dropped
heavily to his side. "You are quite right," he said. "You could not
marry any one whom you consider a mere boy."
He turned from her and faced up the chancel. For the space of a long
silent minute he looked at the window over the holy table, where hung
the suffering Christ. Then he bowed his head. "I accept the cross," he
said, and, turning, walked quietly down the aisle. The church door
opened, closed behind him with a heavy clang, and Jane was alone.
She stumbled back to the seat she had left, and fell upon her knees.
"O, my God," she cried, "send him back to me, oh, send him back! ...
Oh, Garth! It is I who am plain and unattractive and unworthy, not you.
Oh, Garth--come back! come back! come back! ... I will trust and not
be afraid ... Oh, my own Dear--come back!"
She listened, with straining ears. She waited, until every nerve of her
body ached with suspense. She decided what she would say when the heavy
door reopened and she saw Garth standing in a shaft of sunlight. She
tried to remember the VENI, but the hollow clang of the door had
silenced even memory's echo of that haunting music. So she waited
silently, and as she waited the silence grew and seemed to enclose her
within cruel, relentless walls which opened only to allow her glimpses
into the vista of future lonely years. Just once more she broke that
silence. "Oh, darling, come back! I WILL RISK IT," she said. But no
step drew near, and, kneeling with her face buried in her clasped
hands, Jane suddenly realised that Garth Dalmain had accepted her
decision as final and irrevocable, and would not return.
How long she knelt there after realising this, she never knew. But at
last comfort came to her. She felt she had done right. A few hours of
present anguish were better than years of future disillusion. Her own
life would be sadly empty, and losing this newly found joy was costing
her more than she had expected; but she honestly believed "she had done
rightly towards him, and what did her own pain matter?" Thus comfort
came to Jane.
At last she rose and passed out of the silent church into the breezy
sunshine.
Near the park gates a little knot of excited boys were preparing to fly
a kite. Jimmy, the hero of the hour, the centre of attraction, proved
to be the proud possessor of this new kite. Jimmy was finding the day
glorious indeed, and was being happy. "Happy ALSO," Garth had said. And
Jane's eyes filled with tears, as she remembered the word and the tone
in which it was spoken.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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