Strangely enough, his most bitter resentment was lodged against the
wife who had stood by him all these years, through thick and thin,
through incessant storm and hardship, with a staunchness that now
maddened him, because, down in his heart, he could see no guile in her.
She was too good for him; she held herself above him; she made him to
feel that he was not of her world--from the beginning. She was loyal
because it would have put her in his class if she had lifted her voice
in public complaint. He knew that she loathed him; he hated her for the
virtue which gave her the right to despise him and yet to remain loyal
to him. His sodden, debased soul resented the odious comparison that
his own flesh and blood justly could make. There had been bitter
moments when this maudlin wretch almost convinced himself that he could
rejoice in the discovery that Christine was not of his flesh and blood,
that this too virtuous woman was not pure, after all.
His sullen despair brought him to even lower depths. In half-sober
moments he began to realize that his daughter feared and despised him.
She had come to feel the distinction between her parents, and she had
done the perfectly obvious thing in following the instincts of the
gentle blood that was in her: she had cast her lot with her mother. He
forgot his own aspirations and hopes for her in this bitter hour. He
wanted to hurt her, so that she might cry out with him in ugly rage
against the smug, serene paragon. If he only could bring Mary to his
level, so that Christine might no longer be so arrogantly proud of the
blood that came through the Portmans.
He drove himself at last into such a condition of hatred for all that
was good and noble that he would have hailed with joy the positive
proof that his wife had been untrue to him!
All day long he had been singularly abstemious. His brooding had caused
him to forget or to neglect the appetite that mastered him. Toward
evening he resumed his drinking, however, mainly for the purpose of
restoring his courage, which had slumped terribly in this estimate of
himself.
When the time came to go over the receipts with the ticket-sellers he
pulled himself together and prepared to assert his authority. He tossed
away the empty bottle and advanced upon the wagon, his face blanched by
self-pity. He was confounded by the sight of Colonel Grand, sitting
inside and going over the cash with Hanks, the seller.
"What do you want?" demanded Colonel Grand, when Braddock, after trying
the locked door, showed his convulsed face at the little window. Hanks
looked uncomfortable.
"Let me in there, Grand!" grated the man outside.
"I'll attend to this. We can't have you bothering with the finances--"
"I'll kick that door in," roared Braddock; "and I'll kill somebody!"
Colonel Grand picked up the treasurer's revolver. He smiled indulgently.
"I'm taking care of the money after this, Brad."
"I own this show, damn you! I-I-I'll fix you!" sputtered the other. He
began to cry.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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