He breakfasted in his library, ignoring the papers. Their daily story of
chaos made more chaotic by the lamentable blundering of fools and
knaves, seemed to deal with a world out of which he had dropped, hanging
to a parachute. He went smiling through the morning, watching the clock
with an impatience that was itself a pleasure. He felt the strange
exhilaration of having lived his future with all his past to spend, of
returning as a student to a school in which he had performed the duties
of a Master. And there were times when he drew up short and sent out a
great boyish laugh that echoed through his house, at the paradox of it
all. And once, but only once, he stood outside himself and saw that he
was placing his usefulness upon the altar of passion. And before he
leaped back into his skin and while yet he retained his sanity and cold
logic, he saw that he loved Lola for her golden hair and wide-apart
eyes, her red lips and tingling hand, her young sweet body,—but not her
soul, not the intangible thing in a woman that keeps a man’s love when
passion passes. But to this he said, “I am young again. I have the need
and the right. When I have had time to find her soul, she shall have my
quiet love.”
And finally, at three o’clock, with an hour still to drive away, he went
down to the gate in the wall, eager and insatiable to wait for the
rustle of silk.
II
Lady Cheyne had encouraged her flock to lateness in order that she might
lock the door after Lola had come back. She was terrified of burglars,
and although she had sold most of her pearls and diamonds to help her
various protégés over rainy days, she shuddered at the thought of being
disclosed by a flash light to a probably unshaven man. Nothing could
shake her from her belief that a man who could go bearded after five
o’clock in the afternoon must be a criminal,—and this in spite of the
fact that she had lived among artists for years. But she was a woman who
cultivated irrational idiosyncrasies as other women collect old fans or
ancient snuffboxes. She would never live in a flat, for instance,
because if she passed away in one it would be so dreadfully humiliating
to be taken down to the street in a lift, head first.
Becoming irritable from want of sleep, she had kept everybody up until
two in the morning, by which hour even Salo had ceased from Impfing and
Willy could Pouff no more. Zalouhou, who was as natural as a dog, had
yawned hugely. And then, sending her party up to bed, she had proved the
sublimity of her kindness by doing something that she had never done
before. She had left a lamp burning in the hall and the front door wide
open.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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