Man-woman relationships -- England -- Fiction; Married people -- England -- Fiction; Psychological fiction
"Ah, you'll have to do without it!" Oh, she was brisk now. "And if you
know what I think of him, you know no more than _he_ does."
"You mean you told him?"
She hung fire but an instant. "I told him, practically--and it was in
fact all I did have to say to him. It was enough, however, and he
disgustedly left me on it. Then it was that, as you gave me the chance,
I tried to telegraph you--to say to you on the spot and under the sharp
impression: 'What on earth do you mean by your nonsense? It doesn't hold
water!' It's a pity I didn't succeed!" she continued--for she had become
almost voluble. "It would have settled the question, and I should have
gone to bed."
I weighed it with the grimace that, I feared, had become almost as fixed
as Mrs. Server's. "It would have settled the question perhaps; but I
should have lost this impression of you."
"Oh, this impression of me!"
"Ah, but don't undervalue it: it's what I want! What was it then Long
had said?"
She had it more and more, but she had it as nothing at all. "Not a word
to repeat--you wouldn't believe! He does say nothing at all. One can't
remember. It's what I mean. I tried him on purpose, while I thought of
you. But he's perfectly stupid. I don't see how we can have
fancied----!" I had interrupted her by the movement with which again,
uncontrollably tossed on one of my surges of certitude, I turned away.
_How_ deep they must have been in together for her to have so at last
gathered herself up, and in how doubly interesting a light, above all,
it seemed to present Long for the future! That was, while I warned
myself, what I most read in--literally an implication of the enhancement
of this latter side of the prodigy. If his cleverness, under the alarm
that, first stirring their consciousness but dimly, had so swiftly
developed as to make next of each a mirror for the other, and then to
precipitate for them, in some silence deeper than darkness, the exchange
of recognitions, admissions and, as they certainly would have phrased
it, tips--if his excited acuteness was henceforth to protect itself by
dissimulation, what wouldn't perhaps, for one's diversion, be the new
spectacle and wonder? I could in a manner already measure this larger
play by the amplitude freshly determined in Mrs. Briss, and I was for a
moment actually held by the thought of the possible finish our friend
would find it in him to give to a represented, a fictive ineptitude.
The sharpest jostle to my thought, in this rush, might well have been,
I confess, the reflection that as it was I who had arrested, who had
spoiled their unconsciousness, so it was natural they should fight
against me for a possible life in the state I had given them instead. I
had spoiled their unconsciousness, I had destroyed it, and it was
consciousness alone that could make them effectively cruel. Therefore,
if they were cruel, it was I who had determined it, inasmuch as,
consciously, they could only want, they could only intend, to live.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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