Endowed public schools (Great Britain); Political science -- Study and teaching
And it will, we believe, bring a new happiness to many parents
themselves. As school-masters, our widest experience of parents--not
that we pretend it is very wide--is our experience of boys' talk about
their homes. Boys speak of their parents with deep affection and
respect, as a rule; but so very often they leave an impression that
they do not really know them. It is the commonest thing in the world
for fathers and sons, without any positive estrangement, to get
entirely out of touch with one another during the latter part of a
boy's school-time. The boy develops rapidly, and the greater part of
his development is quite concealed from the father. He returns home to
find his father "just the same," and apparently quite unable to divine
the new developments which the son is too proud to reveal uninvited.
Or maybe he does attempt to reveal them, and, bungling his task, finds
himself misunderstood, and lays the blame on the father. So often, as
it seems, the father might have helped matters by playing a rather more
active part, and going half, or even three-quarters, of the way to meet
his son's confidences. But there is a natural shyness of fathers
towards their sons at this stage, and shyness on one side begets
shyness and misunderstanding on the other. More than once a boy has
said to one of us, "What am I to do to get into touch with my father?
Last holidays we found we'd nothing sensible to talk to each other
about at all." It is difficult to advise, but the most obvious thing
to say is, presumably, to remind the boy that his father is but a human
being like himself; that possibly the boy is himself rather
unnecessarily enigmatic, and that instead of expecting the father to
make all the moves, the son might himself hold out a hand and help the
father to understand the changes that had taken place within him. That
is how the matter stands on the boy's side, and it may help some
fathers to know it.
One of our boys, we remember, wanted to discover something at first
hand of the real interests of employees in his father's firm. Whatever
he discovered, it made an excellent holiday interest for him. Among
other things, he attended some W.E.A. lectures, because he found that
the more intelligent men were interested by them. This was a boy of
rather unusual initiative; but we believe there are many boys who would
find a genuine interest in such matters, if the fathers gave them the
lead. Thus the wretched tradition that the holidays are for
unemployment would be gradually broken down, and games would take their
proper place--in holidays and term alike. Perhaps, too, the father on
looking back might find that there had been some "education" in it for
himself also.
The principle from which we started was that the public schools were
full of glorious possibilities, to-day largely unrealised. Is not the
same true of many homes?
APPENDIX
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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