DUNN’S change of heart was not as sudden as it seemed. A boy often
builds for himself a certain structure of false principle which it
gratifies his vanity to consider his permanent philosophy of life. When
faults in this structure develop, he shuts his eyes to them or patches
them with flattering sophistries; and even when the foundations are
actually crumbling away, he affects a firm confidence because he is too
weak to face the task of rebuilding. In the end some bitter experience
may undermine the last support and bring down the edifice with a crash.
So it was with Dunn. He had been aware for some time that he was on the
wrong track, but he could not bring himself to acknowledge the fact. The
information that even when he felt most bitter against Hardie, Hardie
had secretly done him a good turn, stirred his sense of shame and
disproved his assumption that all the boys had been down on him from the
beginning. He recognized clearly enough now that he had been making a
fool of himself, and that the only sensible course was to retrace his
steps and start anew in a different path. He went that evening to
Hardie’s room, announced that he was going to turn over a new leaf, and
asked if he might drop in occasionally for a lift over a hard place. He
said nothing of the dancing-school invitation; that lay now too far away
in the past.
Hardie met him so cordially that Dunn was moved to open his heart still
further. “What is the matter with me, anyway?” he demanded bluntly. “I
wish you’d give me the bottom facts, right out straight.”
Hardie smiled. “You don’t do any work.”
“Oh, I know all about that. I’m a loafer and a goat besides. I don’t
mean about studies. Why don’t the fellows like me?”
“Oh, I don’t know,” answered Hardie, warily. “Don’t they like you?”
“No, they don’t. You know they don’t. Now, what is it?”
Roger looked shyly across the table at the questioner; he didn’t know
what to answer.
“Spit it out!” insisted Dunn. “Just give me the truth. I can stand it.”
“Well,” said Roger, slowly, “for one thing, you talk too much.”
Dunn stared. “I don’t think that’s such a crime. I’m nothing compared
with Wilmot. His tongue’s going all the time.”
“Oh, he’s different,” exclaimed Roger, hastily. “He talks a lot of
trash, but he’s amusing, and the fellows like it. He never talks about
himself.”
“And my talk isn’t amusing and is always about myself.”
“Not that exactly, but you’re always thinking about yourself. You don’t
take much interest in anybody else.”
“It isn’t easy to do it if they won’t let you,” said Dunn, with a gloomy
smile. “What else?”
“Your ideas are different from theirs. You think things are funny that
they don’t. They don’t like your way of looking at things.”
“In other words I’m all wrong,” growled Dunn, in disgust, as he rose to
go. “I couldn’t please ’em, anyway, and I shan’t try it, but I’m going
to stop talking and cut out smoking and get right down to work.”
“For how long?” asked Roger, with a grin of incredulity.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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