“I was unable to prevent it, is a better way of phrasing it,” I replied,
still gently.
“But you tried to prevent it?” There was an emphasis on the “tried,” and
a pleading little note in her voice.
“Oh, but you didn’t,” she hurried on, divining my answer. “But why
didn’t you?”
I shrugged my shoulders. “You must remember, Miss Brewster, that you are
a new inhabitant of this little world, and that you do not yet understand
the laws which operate within it. You bring with you certain fine
conceptions of humanity, manhood, conduct, and such things; but here you
will find them misconceptions. I have found it so,” I added, with an
involuntary sigh.
She shook her head incredulously.
“What would you advise, then?” I asked. “That I should take a knife, or
a gun, or an axe, and kill this man?”
She half started back.
“No, not that!”
“Then what should I do? Kill myself?”
“You speak in purely materialistic terms,” she objected. “There is such
a thing as moral courage, and moral courage is never without effect.”
“Ah,” I smiled, “you advise me to kill neither him nor myself, but to let
him kill me.” I held up my hand as she was about to speak. “For moral
courage is a worthless asset on this little floating world. Leach, one
of the men who were murdered, had moral courage to an unusual degree. So
had the other man, Johnson. Not only did it not stand them in good
stead, but it destroyed them. And so with me if I should exercise what
little moral courage I may possess.
“You must understand, Miss Brewster, and understand clearly, that this
man is a monster. He is without conscience. Nothing is sacred to him,
nothing is too terrible for him to do. It was due to his whim that I was
detained aboard in the first place. It is due to his whim that I am
still alive. I do nothing, can do nothing, because I am a slave to this
monster, as you are now a slave to him; because I desire to live, as you
will desire to live; because I cannot fight and overcome him, just as you
will not be able to fight and overcome him.”
She waited for me to go on.
“What remains? Mine is the role of the weak. I remain silent and suffer
ignominy, as you will remain silent and suffer ignominy. And it is well.
It is the best we can do if we wish to live. The battle is not always to
the strong. We have not the strength with which to fight this man; we
must dissimulate, and win, if win we can, by craft. If you will be
advised by me, this is what you will do. I know my position is perilous,
and I may say frankly that yours is even more perilous. We must stand
together, without appearing to do so, in secret alliance. I shall not be
able to side with you openly, and, no matter what indignities may be put
upon me, you are to remain likewise silent. We must provoke no scenes
with this man, nor cross his will. And we must keep smiling faces and be
friendly with him no matter how repulsive it may be.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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