“A sentimentalist,” he sneered, “like Mr. Van Weyden. Those men are
cursing because their desires have been outraged. That is all. What
desires? The desires for the good grub and soft beds ashore which a
handsome pay-day brings them—the women and the drink, the gorging and the
beastliness which so truly expresses them, the best that is in them,
their highest aspirations, their ideals, if you please. The exhibition
they make of their feelings is not a touching sight, yet it shows how
deeply they have been touched, how deeply their purses have been touched,
for to lay hands on their purses is to lay hands on their souls.”
“’You hardly behave as if your purse had been touched,” she said,
smilingly.
“Then it so happens that I am behaving differently, for my purse and my
soul have both been touched. At the current price of skins in the London
market, and based on a fair estimate of what the afternoon’s catch would
have been had not the _Macedonia_ hogged it, the _Ghost_ has lost about
fifteen hundred dollars’ worth of skins.”
“You speak so calmly—” she began.
“But I do not feel calm; I could kill the man who robbed me,” he
interrupted. “Yes, yes, I know, and that man my brother—more sentiment!
Bah!”
His face underwent a sudden change. His voice was less harsh and wholly
sincere as he said:
“You must be happy, you sentimentalists, really and truly happy at
dreaming and finding things good, and, because you find some of them
good, feeling good yourself. Now, tell me, you two, do you find me
good?”
“You are good to look upon—in a way,” I qualified.
“There are in you all powers for good,” was Maud Brewster’s answer.
“There you are!” he cried at her, half angrily. “Your words are empty to
me. There is nothing clear and sharp and definite about the thought you
have expressed. You cannot pick it up in your two hands and look at it.
In point of fact, it is not a thought. It is a feeling, a sentiment, a
something based upon illusion and not a product of the intellect at all.”
As he went on his voice again grew soft, and a confiding note came into
it. “Do you know, I sometimes catch myself wishing that I, too, were
blind to the facts of life and only knew its fancies and illusions.
They’re wrong, all wrong, of course, and contrary to reason; but in the
face of them my reason tells me, wrong and most wrong, that to dream and
live illusions gives greater delight. And after all, delight is the wage
for living. Without delight, living is a worthless act. To labour at
living and be unpaid is worse than to be dead. He who delights the most
lives the most, and your dreams and unrealities are less disturbing to
you and more gratifying than are my facts to me.”
He shook his head slowly, pondering.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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