It was my task to tally the pelts as they came aboard from the boats, to
oversee the skinning and afterward the cleansing of the decks and
bringing things ship-shape again. It was not pleasant work. My soul and
my stomach revolted at it; and yet, in a way, this handling and directing
of many men was good for me. It developed what little executive ability
I possessed, and I was aware of a toughening or hardening which I was
undergoing and which could not be anything but wholesome for “Sissy” Van
Weyden.
One thing I was beginning to feel, and that was that I could never again
be quite the same man I had been. While my hope and faith in human life
still survived Wolf Larsen’s destructive criticism, he had nevertheless
been a cause of change in minor matters. He had opened up for me the
world of the real, of which I had known practically nothing and from
which I had always shrunk. I had learned to look more closely at life as
it was lived, to recognize that there were such things as facts in the
world, to emerge from the realm of mind and idea and to place certain
values on the concrete and objective phases of existence.
I saw more of Wolf Larsen than ever when we had gained the grounds. For
when the weather was fair and we were in the midst of the herd, all hands
were away in the boats, and left on board were only he and I, and Thomas
Mugridge, who did not count. But there was no play about it. The six
boats, spreading out fan-wise from the schooner until the first weather
boat and the last lee boat were anywhere from ten to twenty miles apart,
cruised along a straight course over the sea till nightfall or bad
weather drove them in. It was our duty to sail the _Ghost_ well to
leeward of the last lee boat, so that all the boats should have fair wind
to run for us in case of squalls or threatening weather.
It is no slight matter for two men, particularly when a stiff wind has
sprung up, to handle a vessel like the _Ghost_, steering, keeping
look-out for the boats, and setting or taking in sail; so it devolved
upon me to learn, and learn quickly. Steering I picked up easily, but
running aloft to the crosstrees and swinging my whole weight by my arms
when I left the ratlines and climbed still higher, was more difficult.
This, too, I learned, and quickly, for I felt somehow a wild desire to
vindicate myself in Wolf Larsen’s eyes, to prove my right to live in ways
other than of the mind. Nay, the time came when I took joy in the run of
the masthead and in the clinging on by my legs at that precarious height
while I swept the sea with glasses in search of the boats.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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