Christian fiction; Neighborhoods -- Scotland -- Fiction
does not strike the rock and make the waters flow, such a mind--one that
must think to live--will go digging into itself, and is in danger of
injuring the very fountain of thought, by drawing away its living water
into ditches and stagnant pools. This was, I say, the case in part with
my Wynnie, although I did not understand it at that moment. She did
not look quite happy, did not always meet a smile with a smile, looked
almost reprovingly upon the frolics of the little brother-imps, and
though kindness itself when any real hurt or grief befell them, had
reverted to her old, somewhat dictatorial manner, of which I have
already spoken as interrupted by Connie’s accident. To her mother and me
she was service itself, only service without the smile which is as
the flame of the sacrifice and makes it holy. So we were both a little
uneasy about her, for we did not understand her. On the journey she
had seemed almost annoyed at Connie’s ecstasies, and said to Dora many
times: “Do be quiet, Dora;” although there was not a single creature but
ourselves within hearing, and poor Connie seemed only delighted with the
child’s explosions. So I was--but although I say _so_, I hardly know why
I was pleased to see her thus, except it was from a vague belief in the
anodyne of slumber. But this pleasure did not last long; for as I
stood regarding my two treasures, even as if my eyes had made her
uncomfortable, she suddenly opened hers, and started to her feet, with
the words, “I beg your pardon, papa,” looking almost guiltily round
her, and putting up her hair hurriedly, as if she had committed an
impropriety in being caught untidy. This was fresh sign of a condition
of mind that was not healthy.
“My dear,” I said, “what do you beg my pardon for? I was so pleased to
see you asleep! and you look as if you thought I were going to scold
you.”
“O papa,” she said, laying her head on my shoulder, “I am afraid I must
be very naughty. I so often feel now as if I were doing something wrong,
or rather as if you would think I was doing something wrong. I am sure
there must be something wicked in me somewhere, though I do not clearly
know what it is. When I woke up now, I felt as if I had neglected
something, and you had come to find fault with me. _Is_ there anything,
papa?”
“Nothing whatever, my child. But you cannot be well when you feel like
that.”
“I am perfectly well, so far as I know. I was so cross to Dora to-day!
Why shouldn’t I feel happy when everybody else is? I must be wicked,
papa.”
Here Connie woke up.
“There now! I’ve waked Connie,” Wynnie resumed. “I’m always doing
something I ought not to do. Please go to sleep again, Connie, and take
that sin off my poor conscience.”
“What nonsense is Wynnie talking about being wicked?” asked Connie.
“It isn’t nonsense, Connie. You know I am.”
“I know nothing of the sort, Wynnie. If it were me now! And yet I don’t
_feel_ wicked.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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