Christian fiction; Neighborhoods -- Scotland -- Fiction
digging into itself, and is in danger of injuring the very fountain of
thought, by drawing away its living water into ditches and stagnant
pools. This was, I say, the case in part with my Wynnie, although I did
not understand it at that moment. She did not look quite happy, did not
always meet a smile with a smile, looked almost reprovingly upon the
frolics of the little brother-imps, and though kindness itself when any
real hurt or grief befell them, had reverted to her old, somewhat
dictatorial manner, of which I have already spoken as interrupted by
Connie's accident. To her mother and me she was service itself, only
service without the smile which is as the flame of the sacrifice and
makes it holy. So we were both a little uneasy about her, for we did
not understand her. On the journey she had seemed almost annoyed at
Connie's ecstasies, and said to Dora many times: "Do be quiet, Dora;"
although there was not a single creature but ourselves within hearing,
and poor Connie seemed only delighted with the child's explosions. So I
was--but although I say _so_, I hardly know why I was pleased to see
her thus, except it was from a vague belief in the anodyne of slumber.
But this pleasure did not last long; for as I stood regarding my two
treasures, even as if my eyes had made her uncomfortable, she suddenly
opened hers, and started to her feet, with the words, "I beg your
pardon, papa," looking almost guiltily round her, and putting up her
hair hurriedly, as if she had committed an impropriety in being caught
untidy. This was fresh sign of a condition of mind that was not healthy.
"My dear," I said, "what do you beg my pardon for? I was so pleased to
see you asleep! and you look as if you thought I were going to scold
you."
"O papa," she said, laying her head on my shoulder, "I am afraid I must
be very naughty. I so often feel now as if I were doing something
wrong, or rather as if you would think I was doing something wrong. I
am sure there must be something wicked in me somewhere, though I do not
clearly know what it is. When I woke up now, I felt as if I had
neglected something, and you had come to find fault with me. _Is_ there
anything, papa?"
"Nothing whatever, my child. But you cannot be well when you feel like
that."
"I am perfectly well, so far as I know. I was so cross to Dora to-day!
Why shouldn't I feel happy when everybody else is? I must be wicked,
papa."
Here Connie woke up.
"There now! I've waked Connie," Wynnie resumed. "I'm always doing
something I ought not to do. Please go to sleep again, Connie, and take
that sin off my poor conscience."
"What nonsense is Wynnie talking about being wicked?" asked Connie.
"It isn't nonsense, Connie. You know I am."
"I know nothing of the sort, Wynnie. If it were me now! And yet I don't
_feel_ wicked."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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