"Humph!" she said with a little inelegant sniff; she looked at her
friend. "Are you going?" she asked bluntly.
Christine did not answer. She was thinking of Jimmy, deliberately
trying to think of the man whom she had done her best during the last
three weeks to forget. She tried to think of him as he had been that
last dreadful night at the hotel, when he had threatened to strike her,
when he had told her to clear out and leave him; but somehow she could
only recall him as he had looked at Euston that morning when he said
good-bye to her, with the hangdog, shamed look in his eyes, and the
pathetic droop to his shoulders.
And now he was ill! It was kind of Sangster to have written, she told
herself, even while she knew quite well that Jimmy had not asked him
to; it would be the last thing in the world Jimmy would wish.
If he were ill, it was not because he wanted her. She drew her little
figure up stiffly.
"I shan't go unless I hear again that it is serious," she said
stiltedly.
"Not--go!" Gladys's voice sounded somehow blank, there was a curious
expression in her eyes. After a moment she looked away. "Oh, well,
you must please yourself, of course."
Christine turned to the door--she held Sangster's letter in her hand.
"Besides," she said flippantly, "I'm going over to Heston this
afternoon with Mr. Kettering."
She went up to her room and shut the door. She stood staring before
her with blank eyes, her pretty face had fallen again into sadness, her
mouth dropped pathetically.
She opened Sangster's letter and read it through once more. Was Jimmy
really ill, and was Sangster afraid to tell her, she wondered? Or was
this merely Sangster's way of trying to bring them together again?
But Jimmy did not want her; even if he were dying Jimmy would not want
to see her again.
If he had cared he would never have consented to this separation; if he
had cared--but, of course, he did not care!
She began to cry softly; big tears ran down her cheeks, and she brushed
them angrily away.
She had tried to shut him out of her heart. She had tried to forget
him. In a defensive, innocent way she had deliberately encouraged
Kettering. She liked him, and he helped her to forget; it restored her
self-esteem to read the admiration in his kind eyes, it helped to
soothe the hurt she had suffered from Jimmy's hands; and yet, in spite
of it all, he was not Jimmy, and nobody could ever take Jimmy's place.
She kept away from Gladys till lunch time, when at last she appeared,
her eyes were red and swollen, and she held her head defiantly high.
Gladys considerately let her alone. Somehow, in spite of everything,
she quite expected to hear that Christine was off to London by the
afternoon train, but the meal passed almost in silence, and when it was
finished Christine said:
"We'd better get ready; Mr. Kettering will be there at two."
Gladys turned away.
"I'd rather not go, if you don't mind," she said uncomfortably.
"Not--go!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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