The Second Thoughts of an Idle FellowJerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
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The Second Thoughts of an Idle Fellow
Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
English essays; English wit and humor
You, little sister doll, were the heroine. You lived in the white-washed
cottage, all honeysuckle and clematis without—earwiggy and damp within,
maybe. How pretty you always looked in your simple, neatly-fitting print
dress. How good you were! How nobly you bore your poverty. How patient
you were under your many wrongs. You never harboured an evil thought, a
revengeful wish—never, little doll? Were there never moments when you
longed to play the wicked woman’s part, live in a room with many doors,
be-clad in furs and jewels, with lovers galore at your feet? In those
long winter evenings? the household work is done—the greasy dishes
washed, the floor scrubbed; the excellent child is asleep in the corner;
the one-and-elevenpenny lamp sheds its dismal light on the darned
table-cloth; you sit, busy at your coarse sewing, waiting for Hero Dick,
knowing—guessing, at least, where he is—! Yes, dear, I remember your
fine speeches, when you told her, in stirring language the gallery
cheered to the echo, what you thought of her and of such women as she;
when, lifting your hand to heaven, you declared you were happier in your
attic, working your fingers to the bone, than she in her gilded salon—I
think “gilded salon” was the term, was it not?—furnished by sin. But
speaking of yourself, weak little sister doll, not of your fine speeches,
the gallery listening, did you not, in your secret heart, envy her? Did
you never, before blowing out the one candle, stand for a minute in front
of the cracked glass, and think to yourself that you, too, would look
well in low-cut dresses from Paris, the diamonds flashing on your white
smooth skin? Did you never, toiling home through the mud, bearing your
bundle of needlework, feel bitter with the wages of virtue, as she
splashed you, passing by in her carriage? Alone, over your cup of weak
tea, did you never feel tempted to pay the price for champagne suppers,
and gaiety, and admiration? Ah, yes, it is easy for folks who have had
their good time, to prepare copybooks for weary little inkstained
fingers, longing for play. The fine maxims sound such cant when we are
in that mood, do they not? You, too, were young and handsome: did the
author of the play think you were never hungry for the good things of
life? Did he think that reading tracts to crotchety old women was joy to
a full-blooded girl in her twenties? Why should _she_ have all the love,
and all the laughter? How fortunate that the villain, the Wicked
Baronet, never opened the cottage door at that moment, eh, dear! He
always came when you were strong, when you felt that you could denounce
him, and scorn his temptations. Would that the villain came to all of us
at such time; then we would all, perhaps, be heroes and heroines.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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