The Second Thoughts of an Idle FellowJerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
General
The Second Thoughts of an Idle Fellow
Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
English essays; English wit and humor
But since those days when I was prepared to put this old world of ours to
rights upon all matters, I have seen many sights and heard many sounds,
and I am not quite so sure as I once was that my particular views are the
only possibly correct ones. Christmas seems to me somewhat meaningless;
but I have looked through windows in poverty-stricken streets, and have
seen dingy parlours gay with many chains of coloured paper. They
stretched from corner to corner of the smoke-grimed ceiling, they fell in
clumsy festoons from the cheap gasalier, they framed the fly-blown mirror
and the tawdry pictures; and I know tired hands and eyes worked many
hours to fashion and fix those foolish chains, saying, “It will please
him—she will like to see the room look pretty;” and as I have looked at
them they have grown, in some mysterious manner, beautiful to me. The
gaudy-coloured child and dog irritates me, I confess; but I have watched
a grimy, inartistic personage, smoothing it affectionately with
toil-stained hand, while eager faces crowded round to admire and wonder
at its blatant crudity. It hangs to this day in its cheap frame above
the chimney-piece, the one bright spot relieving those damp-stained
walls; dull eyes stare and stare again at it, catching a vista, through
its flashy tints, of the far-off land of art. Christmas Waits annoy me,
and I yearn to throw open the window and fling coal at them—as once from
the window of a high flat in Chelsea I did. I doubted their being
genuine Waits. I was inclined to the opinion they were young men seeking
excuse for making a noise. One of them appeared to know a hymn with a
chorus, another played the concertina, while a third accompanied with a
step dance. Instinctively I felt no respect for them; they disturbed me
in my work, and the desire grew upon me to injure them. It occurred to
me it would be good sport if I turned out the light, softly opened the
window, and threw coal at them. It would be impossible for them to tell
from which window in the block the coal came, and thus subsequent
unpleasantness would be avoided. They were a compact little group, and
with average luck I was bound to hit one of them.
I adopted the plan. I could not see them very clearly. I aimed rather
at the noise; and I had thrown about twenty choice lumps without effect,
and was feeling somewhat discouraged, when a yell, followed by language
singularly unappropriate to the season, told me that Providence had aided
my arm. The music ceased suddenly, and the party dispersed, apparently
in high glee—which struck me as curious.
One man I noticed remained behind. He stood under the lamp-post, and
shook his fist at the block generally.
“Who threw that lump of coal?” he demanded in stentorian tones.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account