British -- Russia -- Fiction; Historical fiction; Soviet Union -- History -- Revolution, 1917-1921 -- Fiction
"Vera, what's the matter. You know all this isn't true.... I don't know
what idea you have now in your head, but you must let me speak to you.
I've got to tell you this--that Lawrence must go back to England, and as
soon as possible--and I will see that he does--"
That did its work. In an instant she was upon me like a wild beast,
springing from her chair, standing close to me, her head flung back, her
eyes furious.
"You wouldn't dare!" she cried. "It's none of your business, Ivan
Andreievitch. You say you're my friend. You're not. You're my enemy--my
enemy. I don't care for him, not in the very least--he is nothing to
me--nothing to me at all. But he mustn't go back to England. It will
ruin his career. You will ruin him for life, Ivan Andreievitch. What
business is it of yours? You imagine--because of what you fancied you
saw at Nina's party. There was nothing at Nina's party--nothing. I love
my husband, Ivan Andreievitch, and you are my enemy if you say anything
else. And you pretend to be his friend, but you are his enemy if you try
to have him sent back to England.... He must not go. For the matter of
that, I will never see him again--never--if that is what you want. See,
I promise you never--never--" She suddenly broke down--she, Vera
Michailovna, the proudest woman I had ever known, turning from me, her
head in her hands, sobbing, her shoulders bent.
I was most deeply moved. I could say nothing at first, then, when the
sound of her sobbing became unbearable to me, I murmured,
"Vera, please. I have no power. I can't make him go. I will only do what
you wish. Vera, please, please--"
Then, with her back still turned to me, I heard her say,
"Please, go. I didn't mean--I didn't... but go now... and come
back--later."
I waited a minute, and then, miserable, terrified of the future, I went.
IV
Next night (it was Friday evening) Semyonov paid me a visit. I was just
dropping to sleep in my chair. I had been reading that story of De la
Mare's _The Return_--one of the most beautiful books in our language,
whether for its spirit, its prose, or its poetry--and something of the
moon-lit colour of its pages had crept into my soul, so that the
material world was spun into threads of the finest silk behind which
other worlds were more and more plainly visible. I had not drawn my
blind, and a wonderful moon shone clear on to the bare boards of my
room, bringing with its rays the mother-of-pearl reflections of the
limitless ice, and these floated on my wall in trembling waves of opaque
light. In the middle of this splendour I dropped slowly into slumber,
the book falling from my hands, and I, on my part, seeming to float
lazily backwards and forwards, as though, truly, one were at the bottom
of some crystal sea, idly and happily drowned.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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