British -- Russia -- Fiction; Historical fiction; Soviet Union -- History -- Revolution, 1917-1921 -- Fiction
I felt the note in her voice, superstitiously, as a kind of desperate
challenge, as though she had said:
"Well, you see nothing worse can happen to me than has happened."
Lawrence said roughly, "Of course, we're going on."
The prostitute began, in a trembling voice, as though we must all of
necessity understand her case:
"I don't want to be late this time, because I've been late so often
before.... It always is that way with me... always unfortunate...."
We started across, and when we stepped into the shining silver surface
we all stopped for an instant, as though held by an invisible force.
"That's it," said Vera, speaking it seemed to herself. "So it always is
with us. All revolutions in Russia end this way--"
An unmounted Cossack came forward to us.
"No hanging about there," he said. "Cross quickly. No one is to delay."
We moved to the other side of the Moika bridge. I thought of the
Cossacks yesterday who had assured the people that they would not
fire--well, that impulse had passed. Protopopoff and his men had
triumphed.
We were all now in the shallows on the other bank of the canal. The
prostitute, who was still at our side, hesitated for a moment, as though
she were going to speak. I think she wanted to ask whether she might
walk with us a little way. Suddenly she vanished without sound, into the
black shadows.
"Come along," said Vera. "We shall be dreadfully late." She seemed to be
mastered by an overpowering desire not to be left alone with Lawrence.
She hurried forward with Nina, and Lawrence and I came more slowly
behind. We were now in a labyrinth of little streets and black
overhanging flats. Not a soul anywhere--only the moonlight in great
broad flashes of light--once or twice a woman hurried by keeping in the
shadow. Sometimes, at the far end of the street, we saw the shining,
naked Nevski.
Lawrence was silent, then, just as we were turning into the square where
the Michailovsky Theatre was he began:
"What's the matter?... What's the matter with her, Durward? What have I
done?"
"I don't know that you've done anything," I answered.
"But don't you see?" he went on. "She won't speak to me. She won't look
at me. I won't stand this long. I tell you I won't stand it long. I'll
make her come off with me in spite of them all. I'll have her to myself.
I'll make her happy, Durward, as she's never been in all her life. But I
must have her.... I can't live close to her like this, and yet never be
with her. Never alone, never alone. Why is she behaving like this to
me?"
He spoke really like a man in agony. The words coming from him in little
tortured sentences as though they were squeezed from him desperately,
with pain at every breath that he drew.
"She's afraid of herself, I expect, not of you." I put my hand on his
sleeve. "Lawrence," I said, "go home. Go back to England. This is
becoming too much for both of you. Nothing can come of it, but
unhappiness for everybody."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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