British -- Russia -- Fiction; Historical fiction; Soviet Union -- History -- Revolution, 1917-1921 -- Fiction
"This is a fantastic world, Bohun, and nothing is impossible for it.
Suppose he were to select some one, some weak and irritable and
sentimental and disappointed man, some one whose every foible and
weakness he knew, suppose he were to place himself near him and so
irritate and confuse and madden him that at last one day, in a fury of
rage and despair, that man were to do for him what he is too proud to do
for himself! Think of the excitement, the interest, the food for his
cynicism, the food for his conceit such a game would be to Semyonov. Is
this going to do it? Or this? Or this? Now I've got him far enough?
Another five minutes!... Think of the hairbreadth escapes, the check and
counter check, the sense, above all, that to a man like Semyonov is
almost everything, that he is master of human emotions, that he can
direct wretched, weak human beings whither he will.
"And the other--the weak, disappointed, excitable man--can't you see
that Semyonov has him close to his hand, that he has only to stretch a
finger--"
"Markovitch!" cried Bohun.
"Now you know," I said, "why you've got to stay on in that flat."
VI
I have said already, I think, that the instinctive motive of Vera's life
was her independent pride. Cling to that, and however the world might
rock and toss around her she could not be wrecked. Imagine, then, what
she must have suffered during the weeks that followed her surrender to
Lawrence. Not that for a moment she intended to go back on her
surrender, which was, indeed, the proudest moment of her whole life.
She never looked back for one second after that embrace, she never
doubted herself or him or the supreme importance of love itself; but the
rest of her--her tenderness, her fidelity, her loyalty, her
self-respect--this was all tortured now by the things that she seemed
compelled to do. It must have appeared to her as though Fate, having
watched that complete abandonment, intended to deprive her of everything
upon which she had depended. She was, I think, a woman of very simple
instincts. The things that had been in her life--her love for Nina, her
maternal tenderness for Nicholas, her sense of duty--remained with her
as strongly after that tremendous Thursday afternoon as they had been
before it. She did not see why they need be changed. She did not love
Nina any the less because she loved Lawrence; indeed, she had never
loved Nina so intensely as on the night when she had realised her love
for Lawrence to the full, that night when they had sheltered the
policeman. And she had never pretended to love Nicholas. She had always
told him that she did not love him. She had been absolutely honest with
him always, and he had often said to her, "If ever real love comes into
your life, Vera, you will leave me," and she had always answered him,
"No, Nicholas, why should I? I will never change. Why should I?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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