"No, no.... Understand, I have no more use for them. There are other things now to think about--more important things." "But you were getting on with them so well?" "No--not really. I was deceiving myself as I have often deceived myself before. Alexei showed me that. He told me that they were no good--" "But I thought that he encouraged you?" "Yes--at first--only at first. Afterwards he saw into them more clearly; he changed his mind. I think he was only intending to be kind. A strange man... a strange man...." "A very strange man. Don't you let him influence you, Nicholas Markovitch." "Influence me? Do you think he does that?" He suddenly came close to me, catching my arm. "I don't know. I haven't seen you often together." "Perhaps he does... _Mojet bweet_... You may be right. I don't know--I don't know what I feel about him at all. Sometimes he seems to me very kind; sometimes I'm frightened of him, sometimes"--here he dropped his voice--"he makes me very angry, so angry that I lose control of myself--a despicable thing... a despicable thing... just as I used to feel about the old man to whom I was secretary. I nearly murdered him once. In the middle of the night I thought suddenly of his stomach, all round and white and shining. It was an irresistible temptation to plunge a knife into it. I was awake for hours thinking of it. Every man has such hours.... At the same time Alexei can be very kind." "How do you mean--kind?" I asked. "For instance he has some very good wine--fifty bottles at least--he has given it all to us. Then he insists on paying us for his food. He is a generous-spirited man. Money is nothing to us--" "Don't you drink his wine," I said. Nicholas was instantly offended. "What do you mean, Ivan Andreievitch? Not drink his wine? Am I an infant? Can I not look after myself?--_Blagadaryoo Vas_.... I am more than ten years old." He took his hand away from my arm. "No, I didn't mean that at all," I assured him. "Of course not--only you told me not long ago that you had given up wine altogether. That's why I said what I did."