'Yes,' she proceeded to explain; 'I like you, because you are
reasonable, and don't sit down and cry, as, of course, you _could_ if
you liked. I have as much heart as another; but it irritates me, and
does not touch me one bit, to see some of the pupils here, the big ones
too, crying and crying, and _why? because they have come back to school,
and would rather be at home!_ Evidently that is the case with all of us.
And evidently, what is more, it's going to be the case for ten months.
But for some insignificant holidays at the New Year, from now until
August, thus it will be with us. We shall be all of us in this school,
and we would all of us prefer to be in our homes. But why cry, then? or
if one begins to cry, why leave off? Is one, then, to cry for ten
months? And what eyes will one have at the end? And what good is it?'
I laughed, not only because she seemed to me to put it humorously, but
because I was full of happiness that I had found a friend.
'Yes,' she said, 'you laugh, and that is well, too. It's the thing to
do. Now, if _you_ cried there might be an excuse; you are farther away
from your people than we are. But you ask yourself, What is the good?
And you say to yourself, No, I won't discourage the others. And that is
English. And that is why I like the English; they are at least
reasonable.'
This was balm to me. The sense of desolation had vanished. Here was the
proof that I had been a good witness, and served to uphold the good name
of England, and also that I had conquered a friend.
I think it was the same afternoon, because there were Catechism classes,
from which, as a Protestant, I was exempted, that I was sent out into
the garden, for the first time, at an hour when no other pupils were
there. Later on this privilege was very often accorded me, for the same
reason; so that, in my own day at any rate, no one else in the school
had the opportunity I had given me, and that I used, of taking
possession of the enchanted place and making it my very own. And this
was so because there was no knowledge in my mind at the time that Some
One had been beforehand with me here; and that although for my inner
self it became (and must always be for me exclusively) my own beautiful,
well-enclosed, flower-scented, turf-carpeted, Eden where the spirit of
my youth had its home before any worldly influences, or any knowledge of
evil, had come between it and the poetry of its aspirations and its
dreams, yet for every one _but_ myself, it is Charlotte Brontë's Garden
of Imagination, where _she_ used to '_stray down the pleasant alleys and
hear the bells of St. Jean Baptiste peal out with their sweet, soft,
exalted sound._[1]
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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