So it was religious doubt--a loss of faith--heterodoxy? Having listened
until she gathered this much, Aunt Bell broke in--"My dear, you must let
me guide you in this. You know what I've been through. Study the higher
criticism, reverently, if you will--even broaden into the higher
unbelief. Times have changed since my youth; one may broaden into almost
anything now and still be orthodox, especially in our church. But beware
of the literal mind, the material view of things. Remember that the
essentials of Christianity are spiritually historic even if they aren't
materially historic--facts in the human consciousness if not in the
world of matter. You need not pretend to understand how God can be one
in essence and three in person--I grant you that is only a reversion to
polytheism and is so regarded by the best Biblical scholars--but never
surrender your belief in the atoning blood of the Son whom He sent a
ransom for many--at least as a spiritual fact. I myself have dismissed
the Trinity as one of those mysteries to be adoringly believed on earth
and comprehended only in heaven--but that God so loved the world that he
gave his only begotten Son--Child, do you think I could look forward
without fear to facing God, if I did not believe that the blood of his
only begotten Son had washed from my soul that guilt of the sin I
committed in Adam? Cling to these simple essentials, and otherwise
broaden even into the higher unbelief, if you like--"
"But, Aunt Bell, it _isn't_ that! I never trouble about those
things--though you have divined truly that I have doubted them
lately--but the doubts don't distress me. Actually, Aunt Bell, for a
woman to lose faith in her God seems a small matter beside losing faith
in her husband. You can doubt and reason and speculate and argue about
the first--it's fashionable--people rather respect unbelievers
nowadays--but Oh, Aunt Bell, how the other hurts!"
"But, my child--my preposterous child! How can you have lost faith in
that husband of yours? What nonsense! Do you mean you have taken
seriously those harmless jesting little sallies of his about the snares
and pitfalls of a clergyman's life, or his tales of how this or that
silly woman has allowed him to detect in her that pure reverence which
most women do feel for a clergyman, whether he's handsome or not? Take
Mrs. Wyeth, for example--"
"Oh, Aunt Bell--no, no--how can you think--"
"I admit Allan is the least bit--er--redundant of those
anecdotes--perhaps just the least bit insistent about the snares and
pitfalls that beset an attractive man in his position. But really, my
dear--I know men--and you need never feel a twinge of jealousy. For one
thing, Allan would be held in bounds by fear of the world, even if his
love for you were inadequate to hold him."
"It's no use trying to make you understand, Aunt Bell--you _can't!_"
Whereupon Aunt Bell neglected her former device of pretending that she
did, indeed, understand, and bluntly asked:
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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