"Dear, no!--only at something I happened to think of." She came into the
dining-room, a morning paper in her hand. "Besides, in to-morrow's paper
I shall read all about what the handsome rector of St. Antipas said, in
his handsome voice, to his handsome hearers--"
He had frowned at first, but now smiled indulgently, as they sat down to
luncheon. "You _will_ have your joke about my appearance, Nance! That
reminds me--that poor romantic little Mrs. Eversley--sister of Mrs.
Wyeth, you know--said to me after service this morning, 'Oh, Dr.
Linford, if I could only believe in Christian dogma as I believe in
_you_ as a man!' You know, she's such a painfully emotional, impulsive
creature, and then Colonel Godwin who stood by had to have _his_ joke:
'The symbol will serve you for worship, Madam!' he says; 'I'm sure no
woman's soul would ever be lost if all clergymen were as good to look
upon as our friend here!' Those things always make me feel so
awkward--they are said so bluntly--but what could I do?"
"Mr. Browett's sister and her son were out with him this morning," began
Aunt Bell, charitably entering another channel of conversation from the
intuition that her niece was wincing. But, as not infrequently happened,
the seeming outlet merely gave again into the main channel.
"And there's Browett," continued the Doctor. "Now I am said to have
great influence over women--women trust me, believe me--I may even say
look up to me--but I pledge you my word I am conscious of wielding an
immensely greater influence over men. There seems to be in my _ego_ the
power to prevail. Take Browett--most men are afraid of him--not physical
fear, but their inner selves, their _egos_, go down before him. Yet from
the moment I first saw that man I dominated him. It's all in having an
_ego_ that means mastery, Aunt Bell. Browett has it himself, but I have
a greater one. Every time Browett's eyes meet mine he knows in his soul
that I'm his master--his _ego_ prostrates itself before mine--and yet
that man"--he concluded in a tone of distinguishable awe--"is worth all
the way from two to three hundred millions!"
"Mrs. Eversley is an unlucky little woman, from what I hear," began Aunt
Bell, once more with altruistic aims.
"That reminds me," said the Doctor, recalling himself from a downward
look at the grovelling Browett, "she made me promise to be in at four
o'clock. Really I couldn't evade her--it was either four o'clock to-day
or the first possible day. What could I do? Aunt Bell, I won't pretend
that this being looked up to and sought out is always disagreeable.
Contrary to the Pharisee, I say 'Thank God I _am_ as other men are!' I
have my human moments, but mostly it bores me, and especially these
half-religious, half-sentimental confidences of emotional women who
imagine their lives are tragedies. Now this woman believes her marriage
is unhappy--"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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