"You know, sir, I have suspected for some time that Bernal was not as
sound doctrinally as you could wish. His mind, if I may say it, is a
peculiarly literal one. He seems to lack a certain spiritual
comprehensiveness--an enveloping intuition, so to say, of the spiritual
value in a material fact. During that unhappy agitation for the revision
of our creed, I have heard him, touching the future state of unbaptised
infants, utter sentiments of a heterodoxy that was positively effeminate
in its sentimentality--sentiments which I shall not pain you by repeating.
He has often referred, moreover, with the same disordered sentimentality,
to the sad fate of our father--about whose present estate no churchman can
have any doubt. And then about our belief that even good works are an
abomination before God if performed by the unregenerate, the things I have
heard him--"
"Yes--yes--let us not talk of it further. Did you wish to see me
especially, Allan?"
"Well, yes, sir, I _had_ wished to, and perhaps now is the best moment. I
wanted to ask you, sir, how you would regard my becoming an Episcopalian.
I am really persuaded that its form of worship, translating as it does so
_much_ of the spiritual verity of life into visible symbols, is a form
better calculated than the Presbyterian to appeal to the great throbbing
heart of humanity. I hope I may even say, without offense, sir, that it
affords a wider scope, a broader sweep, a more stimulating field of
endeavour, to one who may have a capacity for the life of larger aspects.
In short, sir, I believe there is a great future for me in that church."
"I shouldn't wonder if there was," answered the old man, who had studied
his face closely during the speech. Yet he spoke with an extreme dryness
of tone that made the other look quickly up.
"It shall be as you wish," he continued, after a meditative pause--"I
believe you are better calculated for that church than for mine. Obey your
call."
CHAPTER VI
IN THE FOLLY OF HIS YOUTH
At early twilight Bernal, sore at heart for the pain he had been obliged
to cause the old man, went to the study-door for a last word with him.
"I believe there is no one above whose forgiveness I need, sir--but I
shall always be grieved if I can't have yours. I _do_ need that."
The old man had stood by the open door as if meaning to cut short the
interview.
"You have it. I forgive you any hurt you have done me; it was due quite as
much to my limitations as to yours. For that other forgiveness, which you
will one day know is more than mine--I--I shall always pray for that."
He stopped, and the other waited awkwardly, his heart rushing out in
ineffectual flood against the old man's barrier of stern restraint. For a
moment he made folds in his soft hat with a fastidious precision. Finally
he nerved himself to say calmly:
"I thank you, sir, for all you have done--all you have ever done for me
and for Allan--and, good-bye!"
"Good-bye!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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