his throwing himself upon her for help--for help to "get out",
literally, help which she can somehow give him. The logic, the
exquisite, of this to be kept tight hold of, with one's finger on every
successive link of the chain. But voyons un peu the logic; which,
expressed in the plainest, the most mathematical terms possible, is that
what this "retributive" admonition signifies for him is, he feels, that
he is going to be _left_, handed over to the conditions of where and
what and above all _when_ he is; never saved, never rescued, never
restored again, by the termination of his adventure and his experience,
to his native temporal conditions, which he yearns for with an
unutterable yearning. He has come to have his actual ones, the
benighted, the dreadful ones, in horror--and he just lets her know _how_
horrible everything that surrounds her, everything that she herself is
surrounded with and makes part of, have become for him, and under what a
weight of despair he sinks if what has just again for the third time
happened to him means that his fate is sealed. He breaks down to her,
has the one outward, the one communicated despair that I see for him in
the course of the affair; his throwing himself upon her for what she can
do to avert that doom, his beseeching her, all selfishly, to help him. I
say _all selfishly_ for the dramatic, clumsily so to call it, value,
working value, of this; connected, identical, as it is with his
readiness, in fact his intense hope of being able to, profit
by the idea of a liberation for him purchased on her part by some
sacrifice--sacrifice, by no means sufficiently, of any hope of _him_,
but of the very stuff of herself, and this up to the hilt. The more I
look into this, the more I see in it; but with proportionately much
therefore to be stated about it with a supreme lucidity. Reduced to its
simplest expression the case stands that he has fallen in love with
her--done so in absolute rebound from the distress that her sister's,
her mother's, breach has brought to an end for him; leaving him
_originally_ to throw himself so much on _her_ by reaction, by already
acquired and assimilated sense that with her, too blessedly, almost
_any_ ease for him, whether but comparatively or absolutely, is
possible. Thus had he given way to his having, as who should say, fallen
in love with her; and thus does that fact work, to his perception, both
toward his prime relief and toward his understanding of what he has to
fear. Here I come to something pretty intricate and difficult, yet full
of life and force, say frankly of beauty, if I can get it straight;
which is what I must proceed to. _Why_ has what passes, what has passed
up to then, between this pair, _why_ does it bring on or draw down the
third, the "retributive" recurrence? Well, let us see if we don't make
out, and thereby but store up still more beauty and intensity. Put it
simply for the moment that the Predecessor has been in love with the
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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