uncontrollability of his modernism--that is, at least, by what was
incalculable beforehand, the exhibition of the way in which "they" were
going to take it. The whole effect of my story is exactly his
disconcerted and practically defeated face-to-faceness with the way in
which they do take it--a matter, a fact, an appearance, that gives me
all I want for accounting for his deflection. Thus is our having, his
having, everything _en double_ regulated and exhibited: he is doing over
what the other fellow has done (though it acts for the other persons in
it as if it were the first time--this quite all right, though not
looking so at first)--and that accordingly hangs together and stands
firm. Therefore accordingly my start, a little above, at being what I
there for a moment called disconcerted and defeated was groundless: I
was going on perfectly straight and right--and am now doing so again. To
repeat, accordingly, I get my full right to deal as by a free hand with
that little historic truth of the girl's concealed sentiment for the
other fellow, accompanied with her equal consciousness that he doesn't
and can't and won't care for her a bit: at least in the same way. This
revolution that has taken place for her--and well before the scène--of
Ralph's differing so from the 1820 man--in short, in short. Note what
occurs to me as to the question or no of whether the portrait, the
portrait _in_ the house in 1910, is done from Ralph in 1820 or not, done
from Ralph himself, or accounted for, as coming into existence
afterwards. _The_ thing, at this ragged edge, is to keep hold of the
clue, as tight as possible, that I have grabbed for my solution in the
line of her _making_ the sacrifice; making it all with a sublime
intelligence _for_ him, on account of what he has told her of his own
epoch--which she stares at in her deprivation.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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