The Serapion Brethren, Vol. IIHoffmann, E. T. A. (Ernst Theodor Amadeus)
Science
The Serapion Brethren, Vol. II
Hoffmann, E. T. A. (Ernst Theodor Amadeus)
Fiction
"Stop, stop! wait a moment, Antonio," cried Salvator, and, turning
round the picture he was working at, he took a crayon, and, on the
reverse side of it, drew, in a few bold touches, the curious old fellow
who had been going on so absurdly in front of Antonio's picture.
"By all the saints!" cried Antonio, jumping up from his chair, and
laughing loud and clear in spite of his despair, "that is the very
man--that is Signor Pasquale Capuzzi, of whom I am speaking, to the
very life."
"There, you see," said Salvator quietly, "I know the gentleman who is
probably your bitter rival. But go on with your story."
"Signor Pasquale Capuzzi," continued Antonio, "is as rich as Crœsus,
but, as I think I was telling you, a terrible miser, as well as a
perfect ass. His best quality is that he is devoted to the arts,
particularly to music and painting. But there is so much idiotic
absurdity mixed up with this, that, even in those directions, it is
impossible to put up with him. He believes himself to be the greatest
composer in the world, and a singer the like of whom is not to be found
in the Papal Chapel. Therefore he looks askance at our old Frescobaldi,
and when the Romans talk of the marvellous charm and spell which
Ceccarelli's voice possesses, he thinks Ceccarelli knows as much about
singing as an old slipper, and that he--Capuzzi--is the person to
enchant the world. But as the Pope's principal singer bears the proud
name of Edoardo Ceccarelli di Merania, our Capuzzi likes to be styled
'Signor Pasquale Capuzzi di Senegaglia,' for his mother bore him in
that place, and, in fact, people say, in a fishing-boat, from sudden
terror at the rising of a sea-calf, and there is, consequently, a great
deal of the sea-calf in his nature. In early life he put an opera on
the stage, and it was hissed off it in the completest manner possible;
but that did not cure him of his craze for writing diabolical music. On
the other hand, when he heard Francesco Cavalli's opera, 'Le Nozze di
Teti e di Peleo,' he said the Capellmeister had borrowed the most
sublime ideas from his own immortal works; for saying which he had a
narrow escape of cudgellings, or even of knife-thrusts. He is still
possessed with the idea of singing arias, accompanying himself by
torturing a wretched guitar, which has to groan and sigh in support of
his mewing and caterwauling. His faithful Pylades is a broken-down,
dwarfish Castrato, whom the Romans call Pitichinaccio; and guess who
completes the trio. Well, none other than the Pyramid Doctor, who emits
sounds like a melancholy jackass, and is under the impression that he
sings a magnificent bass, as good as Martinelli's, of the Papal Chapel.
Those three worthies meet together of evenings, and sit on the balcony,
singing motetts of Carissimi's till all the dogs and cats in the
neighbourhood yell and howl, and the human beings within earshot devote
the hellish trio to all the thousand devils.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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