that the teetotaler should have his “comic reciter;” nor can there be a question as to the possibility of being as funny, as hilarious even, over a cup of wholesome, harmless tea as over the grog-glass. But I very much doubt if any but total abstainers could appreciate some of the witticisms that, according to the book in question, occasionally issue from the mouths of babes and sucklings. Here is a sample: “A CHILD’S ACUMEN.—‘Pa, does wine make a beast of a man?’ ‘Pshaw, child, only once in a while!’ ‘Is that the reason why Mr. Goggins has on his sign—Entertainment for man and beast?’ ‘Nonsense, child, what makes you ask?’ ‘Because ma says that last night you went to Goggins’s _a man_, and came back _a beast_! and that he entertained you.’ ‘That’s mother’s nonsense, dear! Run out and play; papa’s head aches!’” I may have a preposterous aversion to a development of cuteness of a certain sort in children, but I must confess that it would not have pained me much had the above brilliant little anecdote concluded with a reference to something else being made to ache besides papa’s head. Again: “Two little boys attended a temperance meeting at Otley in Yorkshire, and signed a pledge that they should not touch nor give strong drink to anyone. On going home, their father ordered them to fetch some ale, and gave them a can for the purpose. They obeyed; but after getting the ale neither of them felt inclined to carry it; so they puzzled themselves as to what they could do. At last they hit upon an expedient. A long broom-handle was procured, and slinging the can on this, each took one end of the broom-handle, and so conveyed the liquor home without spilling it.” One realty cannot see what moral lesson is to be deduced from these two “funny” teetotal stories, unless it is intended to show that, from the lofty eminence of total abstinence, a child may with impunity look down upon and “chaff” and despise his beer-drinking parent. It would rather seem that too early an indulgence in teetotal principles is apt to have an effect on the childish mind quite the reverse of humanising. Here is still another instance quoted from the “smart-saying” pages: “Two poor little children attending a school in America, at some distance from their home, were shunned by the others because their father was a drunkard. The remainder at dinner-time went into the playground and ate their dinner; but the poor twins could only look on. If they approached near those who were eating, the latter would say, ‘You go away; your father is a drunkard.’ But they were soon taught to behave otherwise; and then it was gratifying to see how delicate they were in their attention to the two little unfortunates.”