The sexagenarian; or, the recollections of a literary life (Volume 1 of 2)Beloe, William
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The sexagenarian; or, the recollections of a literary life (Volume 1 of 2)
Beloe, William
Authors, English; Beloe, William, 1756-1817; English literature -- Anecdotes
And obedient humble servant,
⸺.
Another Dedication was submitted to the noble Lord’s deliberation, but
neither did this altogether satisfy him, as appears from the following
expression of his opinion.
Dear Sir,
I scarce know how to reply to your new flattering proposal. I
am afraid of appearing guilty of affected modesty, and yet I
must beg your pardon, if I most sincerely and seriously entreat
you to drop all thoughts of complimenting me, and my house and
collection. If there is truth in man, it would hurt, not give
me satisfaction.
If you could see my heart, and know what I think of myself, you
would be convinced that I think myself unworthy of praise, and
am so far from setting value on any thing I have done, that
could I recall time, and recommence my life, I have long been
persuaded, that, thinking as I do now, nothing would induce me
to appear on the stage of the public.
Youth, great spirits, vanity, some flattery, (for I was a
Prime Minister’s son) had made me believe I had some parts,
and perhaps I had some, and on that rock I split; for how vast
the distance between some parts and genius, original genius,
which I confess is so supremely my admiration, and so honest
is my pride, for that I never deny, that being conscious of
not being a genius, I do not care a straw in which rank of
mediocrity I may be placed. I tried before I was capable of
judging myself, but having carefully examined and discovered
my extreme inferiority to the objects of my admiration, I have
passed sentence on my trifles, and hope nobody will think
better of them than I do myself and then they will soon obtain
that oblivion, out of which I wish I had never endeavoured to
emerge.
All this I allow, Sir, you will naturally doubt, yet the latter
part of my life has been of a piece with my declaration. I
have not only abandoned my mistaken vocation, but have been
totally silent to some unjust attacks, because I did not choose
my name should be mentioned when I could help it. It will be
therefore indulgent in a friend, to let me pass away unnoticed
as I wish, and I should be a hypocrite indeed, (which indeed
I am not) if it were possible for me to receive compliments
from a gentleman, whose abilities I respect so much as I do
yours. I must have been laying perfidious snares for flattery,
or I must be sincere. I trust your candour and charity will at
least hope I am the latter, and that you will either punish
my dissimulation, by disappointing it, or oblige me, as you
will assuredly do, by dropping your intention. I am perfectly
content with the honour of your friendship, and beseech you to
let these be the last lines that I shall have occasion to write
on the disagreeable subject of ⸺.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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