In undertaking the sexual enlightenment of the child, those phenomena of
the sexual life should not be forgotten which are shown by experience to
arouse in the ripening child, now curiosity, and now anxiety--and the
chief among these are involuntary sexual orgasm and menstruation.
Imagine the state of mind of the girl who has never heard a word about
menstruation, and awakens one morning with blood flowing from the
genital organs; or that of the boy, who has his first nocturnal seminal
emission, without having received any information as to its
significance. Similar considerations apply to some of the other signs of
puberty; and especially to the growth of the pubic hair, which has made
many a child extremely anxious. Although, by the time this age is
reached, a child has commonly been sufficiently informed about these
things by his playfellows, we meet with instances in which nothing of
the kind has occurred.
Hitherto I have been considering the hygienic grounds for effecting
sexual enlightenment; but there are also important ethical reasons for
such enlightenment. It is not possible in our life to speak the truth
always and unconditionally; but this fact does not give us the right to
lie to children without good cause. Especially dangerous is it to relate
to children fables about the stork or the cabbage-garden, at a time when
they have long been enlightened about sex from other sources. I recall
the case of a girl seven years of age, whose mother was still in the
habit of telling her that babies were brought by the storks; but this
child was accustomed to join with other girls and boys in playing at
"father, mother, and midwife," wherein they displayed a comparatively
exact knowledge of the processes of reproduction and birth. We are not
surprised when a woman tells us that as a child her confidence in her
mother was seriously shaken from the moment when she was enlightened by
others concerning the sexual life, and she recognised that what her
mother had told her about the matter was quite untrue. I do not mean to
imply that stories of the stork and cabbage-garden variety are to be
altogether excluded. It would be as reasonable to prohibit all kinds of
fairy tales. Some tell us that we should tell children fairy stories
only so long as they regard the whole of life as a fairy tale. But in
view of the vivid imagination of childhood, no such sharp distinction is
practicable. Let the reader recall his own childhood. Does the child
regard the fairy tale as a lie, even after he has began to doubt if the
world of fairy stories has any actual existence? Certainly not.
Similarly with regard to the stork fable. I consider that the complete
suppression of this fable, unless we replace it with some like poetical
fancy, can do nothing but harm to the child's nature. All that we must
ask is that such a story shall not for too long be put before the child
as fact. When the child's development has gone far enough, it will be
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