The sexual question : $b A scientific, psychological, hygienic and sociological studyForel, Auguste
Science
The sexual question : $b A scientific, psychological, hygienic and sociological study
Forel, Auguste
Sex
In lunatic asylums, in law, and in novels jealousy plays an important
part, for it is one of the most fruitful sources of tragedies and
human unhappiness. The combined and persevering efforts of education
and selection are necessary to gradually eliminate it from the human
brain. We often hear it said of man and woman that they are not
jealous enough, because they are too indulgent toward the
extra-nuptial inclinations of their conjoint. When such indulgence
rests on cynical indifference or on pecuniary interests, it is not the
want of jealousy but the want of moral sense which is to blame. If it
arises from real and reasoned love, it should on the contrary be
highly respected and praised. I would wish all heroes of offended
honor and all defenders of jealousy to reflect on the following case:
A man of high position, and the father of five children, lived in the
most happy union. One day he made the acquaintance of a friend of his
wife, a very intelligent and well-educated lady. Frequent visits and
long conversations led to intimacy which developed into violent
reciprocal love. However, the lady refused to abandon herself
entirely. The husband confessed everything to his wife, even to the
smallest details, and the lady did the same. Instead of becoming
jealous, the wife had the good sense and the courage to treat the two
lovers not only with indulgence, but a true and profound affection.
The loyalty of each of the parties interested greatly facilitated the
gradual _dénouement_ of a difficult situation, without the family
affections suffering. But the _dénouement_ would have been quite as
peaceful if the lady had yielded to sexual connection with the
husband. In fact, the wife herself considered this question very
seriously and calmly, in case the fire could not be otherwise
extinguished.
I ask in all sincerity, if such mild and humane treatment of an
unfortunate love affair, in which the three interested parties each
strove to avoid all scandal and everything which could damage their
mutual reputation, I ask if this good and loyal treatment is not, from
the moral standpoint, far superior to scenes of jealousy, duels,
divorces and all their consequences, things which are all sanctioned
and even sanctified by custom?
I also know many cases where the husbands of women who have fallen in
love with other men have conducted themselves in an equally noble and
reasonable manner, even when their wives had been completely
unfaithful, and the results have always been good. It is needless to
say that I do not wish to maintain that a husband should tolerate
indefinitely the bad conduct of his wife, nor a woman that of her
husband; but this is another thing.
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