Fantasy fiction; Science fiction; Spouses -- Fiction; Subconsciousness -- Fiction
Benny Buckingham and his partner Dippy Donahoe crept through the night
in stealthy pursuit of their careers. If the two seemed to keep late
business hours it was only because of the nocturnal nature of their
chosen profession. Plainly, Benny and Dippy were house breakers, and if
they took pride in their work and labored long to get ahead it was only
a tribute to their mothers' faith in them.
Benny and Dippy were perfect partners in that they were perfect
opposites. If Benny was large, Dippy was no bigger than a minute, or
perhaps even fifty nine seconds. Where Benny was an extremely homely
man, Dippy was terribly dapper. There was one thing, however, that this
pair held in common; neither of them was noticeably bright in the head.
Now they crept toward the Maynard mansion, burglary in their hearts,
black jacks in their hands and nothing at all in their heads. When,
upon arriving at the veranda, they were greeted by the sight of a
shapely young redhead decked out in a set of glittering butterflies,
it never occurred to them for a moment that the girl could be any
other than the mistress of the house, out for a moonlight stroll in
her negligee. Summing the situation up thusly, they promptly ducked
down behind the balustrade. But they had paused too long; the girl had
already seen them.
"Hello!" Toffee called, leaping to the conclusion that she had
discovered the occupants of the house. "Hello, there!"
Benny and Dippy peered up sheepishly over the edge of the balustrade.
"My heavens," Toffee said. "I'm glad you came along."
Benny and Dippy exchanged a puzzled glance; they weren't used to being
welcomed on occasions like this.
"You are?" Benny asked suspiciously. "How come?"
"I need someone to help me. I can't get in the house, and I've got to
use the telephone."
"Locked out?" Dippy asked politely. He proceeded warily to the veranda,
waving Benny along behind him.
Toffee nodded. "Would you let me in, please?"
Dippy glanced uncertainly at Benny, and Benny nodded. He turned back to
Toffee. "Delighted," he said. "Which door would you like opened?"
Toffee waved her hand at a long line of French windows. "Oh, any one of
them," she said. "I don't care."
With a flourish, Dippy produced a small tool kit from the inner reaches
of his jacket and went to work. In a moment the door was open.
"There you are," he said. "Bet you couldn't do it faster with a regular
key."
"Thank you," Toffee said. "Were you just coming in?" she asked.
Benny and Dippy, mistaking this for an invitation, stood back for a
moment, astonished. Then, loathe to look a gift horse in the mouth too
long, they followed after her.
"Gosh, what a dame!" Dippy whispered to Benny. "She's got more guts
than a fish cleaner. Or do you suppose we're losin' our menace?"
Toffee crossed the room, found a light switch, and turned it on. The
most beautiful dining room she had ever seen rose up out of the shadows
around her.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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