Slowly feeling her way past the dainty white bed, Mrs. Pickens reached
the door. Her hand was on the knob when Hertha struck a match. Suddenly
the room was flooded with the yellow gas-light, blinding them both. The
older woman put her hand over her eyes to shield them from the glare,
and then resolutely drew it away and stared into Hertha's face. She
expected to find some change, some sign of those former detestable
surroundings. But in the bright glow of the light the girl was more
exquisite than ever. She tried to speak, to announce that she knew the
truth, but she could not charge this aristocratic-looking young woman
with the disgrace of having lived with "niggers." Without a word she
turned the knob and left the room.
Hertha looked after her, startled. She had meant to tell her whole
story, but something in the silence that had followed her answer to Mrs.
Pickens' last question frightened her, and too timid to speak further
she had sought the comfort of the light. Then she saw her landlady, a
strange, disgusted expression on her face, her nostrils distended as
though detecting some distasteful smell, turn away and leave her alone.
The girl went to the window and pulled down the shade. Turning to the
mirror she looked at herself in the glass. The face that looked back at
her was thin and white, with sad lines about the dark eyes, but it was
familiar, the same face that Mrs. Pickens had seen since she had come
into this home. What was there that should make this woman gaze at her
with repugnance and then go away? She pressed her hands upon her waving
hair. Had she guessed something worse than the truth, something that
Hertha herself had believed the truth until a short time ago? Did she
think she was a Negro? If she thought that! Leaving the mirror the girl
seated herself in a chair and wearily reached out to the table for the
book that she was studying. But before touching it she drew back and
with a gesture of pain turned and looked across the room to the closed
door. A chair stood near the doorway and leaning against it again she
saw her landlady, her hand gripping the back, her every feature
breathing disgust. She could not rid herself of the figure, it would not
leave the room. And worse, shadows were gathering about it, black
shadows from which the figure shrank. They moved restlessly about, these
shadows, by the door and by the bed. They stood dark in the
gas-light--black faces with big, clumsy lips! black hands with red
palms; heads with black, woolly hair. Shutting her eyes, she summoned
all her strength to efface with life's reality the phantoms of a white
world's hate. She saw her old friendly home, her mammy, Ellen, Tom. She
looked into their kindly faces and touched their hands. Then with a
start her eyes opened and the shadows gathered about the figure at the
door.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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