She had not yet shown him what the real trouble was, and he asked her
now, in this second lull of their talk, “What else is there besides the
factory-girls and Miss Grey?”
She was silent for a moment, then said, “You guess that there is
something else.”
“I can see it.”
“And you are sorry?”
“Sorry, dear Eppie? Of course.”
“It’s a child, a cripple,” said Eppie. “It had been ill for a long time,
but we thought that we could save it. It died this morning. I didn’t
know. I didn’t get there in time. I only found out after leaving you
this afternoon. And it cried for me.” She had turned her head from him
as it leaned against the chair, but he saw the tears slowly rolling down
her cheeks.
“I am so sorry, dear Eppie,” he said.
“The most darling child, Gavan.” His grave pity had brought him near and
it gave her relief to speak. “It had such a wistful, dear little face. I
used to spend hours with it; I never cared for any child so much. What I
can’t bear is to think that it cried for me.” Her voice broke. Without a
trace, now, of impulse or glamour, he took her hand, repeating his
helpless phrase of sympathy. Yes, he thought, while she wept, here was
the fatal flaw in any Tolstoian half-way house that promised peace. Love
for others didn’t help their suffering; suffering with them didn’t stop
it. Here was the brute fact of life that to all peace-mongers sternly
said, Where there is love there is no peace.
It was only after her hand had long lain in his fraternal clasp that she
drew it away, drying her tears and trying to smile her thanks at him.
Looking before her into the fire, and back into a retrospect of sadness,
she said: “How often you and I meet death together, Gavan. The poor
monkey, and Bobbie, and Elspeth even, ought to count.”
“You must think of me and death together,” he said.
He felt in a moment that the words had for her some significance that he
had not intended. In her silence was a shock, and in her voice, when she
spoke, a startled thing determinedly quieted.
“Not more than you must think of me and it together.”
“You and death, dear Eppie! You are its very antithesis!”
She did not look at him, and he could not see her eyes, but he knew,
with the almost uncanny intuition that he so often had in regard to her,
that a rising strength, a strength that threatened something, strove
with a sudden terror.
“Life conquers death,” she said at last.
He armed himself with lightness. “Of course, dear Eppie,” he said; “of
course it does; always and always. The poor baby dies, and--I wonder how
many other babies are being born at this moment? Conquers death? I
should think it did!”
“I did not mean in that way,” she answered. She had risen, and, looking
at the clock, seemed to show him that their time was over. “But we won’t
discuss life and death now,” she said.
“You mean that it’s late and that I must go?” he smiled.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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