Eppie gazed, silent and motionless, her uplifted profile like a child’s
in its astonished joy. Once or twice she looked round at Gavan and at
Grainger,--always first at Gavan,--smiling, and speechless with delight.
Her folded arms had dropped to her sides and the shawl fell straightly
from her shoulders. She made one think of some young knight, transfixed
before a heavenly vision, a benediction of revealed beauty. The trivial
occasion lent itself to splendid analogies. The strange light from above
bathed her from head to foot in soft, intermittent, heavenly color.
Suddenly, in darkness, Grainger seized her hand. She had hardly felt the
pressure, short, sharp with all the exasperation of his worship, before
it was gone.
She did not turn to look at him. More than the unjustifiableness of the
action, its unexpectedness, she felt a pain, a perplexity, as for
something mocking, incongruous. And as if in instinctive seeking she
turned her eyes on Gavan and found that he was looking at her.
Was it, then, her eyes, seeking and perplexed, that compelled him; was
it his own enfranchised impulse; was it only a continuation of
fairy-land fitness, the child instinct of sharing in a unison of touch a
mutual wonder? In the fringes of her shawl his hand sought and found her
hand. Another rose of joy had expanded on the sky; and they stood so,
hand in hand, looking up.
Eppie looked up steadily; but now the outer vision was but a dim symbol,
a reflection, vaguely seen, of the inner vision that, in a miracle of
accomplished growth, broke upon her. She did not think or know. Her
heart seemed to dilate, to breathe itself away in long throbs, that
worshiped, that trembled, that prayed. Her strength was turned to
weakness and her weakness rose to strength, and, as she looked up at the
sky, the stars, the dream-like constellations that bloomed and drifted
away, universes made and unmade on the void, her mind, her heart, her
spirit were all one prayer and its strength and its humility were one.
She had known that she loved him, but not till now that she loved him
with a depth that passed beyond knowledge; she had known that he loved
her, but not till now had she felt that all that lived in him was hers
forever. His voice, his eyes, might hide, might deny, but the seeking,
instinctive hand confessed, dumbly, to all.
She had drawn him to her by her will; she had held him back from death
by her love. His beloved hand clasped hers; she would never let him go.
Looking up at the night, the stars, holding his hand, she gave herself
to the new life, to all that it might mean of woe and tragedy. Let it
lead her where it would, she was beside him forever.
Yet, though her spirit held the sky, the stars, her heart, suffocated
and appalled with love, seemed to lie at his feet, and the inarticulate
prayer, running through all, said only, over and over, “O God, God.”
Meanwhile Grainger leaned against the wall, puffing doggedly at his
pipe, unrepentant and unsatisfied.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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