From the library window Eppie watched him go. She could see for a long
time the flicker of his white figure among the distant birches.
She sat in a low chair in the deep embrasure of the window-seat, silent
and motionless. She felt, after the night’s revelation, an apathy,
mental and physical; a willing pause; a lull of the spirit, that rested
in its accepted fate, should it be joyful or tragic. The very fact of
such acceptance partook of both tragedy and joy.
Grainger was with her, walking, as usual, up and down the room, glancing
at her as he passed and repassed.
He felt, all about him, within and without, the pressure of some crisis;
and his ignorance, his intuitions, struggling within him, made a
consciousness, oddly mingled, of sharp pain, deep dread, and,
superficially, a suffocating irritation, continually rising and
continually repressed.
Eppie’s aspect intensified the mingled consciousness. Her figure, in its
thin dress of black and white, showed lassitude. With her head thrown
back against the chair, her hands, long, white, inert, lying along the
chair-arms, she looked out from the cool shadow of the room at the day,
fierce in its blue and gold, its sunlight and its wind.
He had seen Gavan pass, so strangely alone; he had watched her watching
of him. She was languid; but she was patient, she was strong. That was
part of the suffocation, that such strength, such patience, should be
devoted to ends so undeserving. More than by mere jealousy, though that
seethed in him, he was oppressed by the bitter sense of waste, of the
futile spending of noble capacity; for, more than all, she was piteous;
there came the part of pain and dread, the presage of doom that weighed
on his heart.
In her still figure, her steady look out at the empty, splendid vault of
blue, the monotonous purple stretches of the moor, his unesthetic,
accurate mind felt, with the sharp intuition that carried him so much
further than any conscious appreciation, a symbol of the human soul
contemplating the ominous enigma of its destiny. She made him dimly
think of some old picture he had seen, a saint, courageous, calm,
enraptured, in the luminous pause before a dark, accepted martyrdom. He
did violence to the simile, shaking it off vehemently, with a clutch at
the sane impatience of silly fancies.
Stopping abruptly before her, though hardly knowing for what end, he
found himself saying, and the decisive words, as he heard, rather than
thought them, had indeed the effect of shattering foolish visions, “I
shall go to-day, Eppie.”
In seeing her startled, pained, expostulatory, he saw her again, very
sanely, as an unfortunate woman bent on doing for herself and unable to
hide her situation from his keen-sightedness. For really he didn’t know
whether a hopeless love-affair or a hopeless marriage would the more
completely “do” for her.
“My dear Jim, why to-day?” Eppie asked in a tone of kindest protest.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account