“No, by incompleteness: one loves what could complete oneself and what
one could complete; or so it seems to me.”
“And as long as there are selves, will there be suffering, too?”
Her eyes met his thought fearlessly.
“That question, I am sure, is the basis for all the religions of
cowardice, religions that deny life because of their craving for peace.”
“Isn’t the craving for peace as legitimate as the craving for life?”
“Nothing that denies life can be legitimate. Life is the one arbitrator.
And restlessness need not mean suffering. A symphony is all
restlessness--a restlessness made by difference in harmony; forgive the
well-worn metaphor, but it is a good one. And, suppose that it did mean
suffering, all of it. Isn’t it worth it?” Her eyes measured him, not in
challenge, but quietly.
“What a lover of life you are,” he said. It was like seeing him go into
his house and, not hastily, but very firmly, shut the door. And as if,
rather rudely, she hurled a stone at the shut door, she asked, “Do you
love anything?”
He smiled. “Please don’t quarrel with me.”
“I wish I could make you quarrel. I suspect you of loving everything,”
Eppie declared.
She didn’t pursue him further on this occasion, when, indeed, he might
accuse himself of having given her every chance; but on the next day, as
they sat out at the edge of the birch-wood in a wonderfully warm
afternoon sun, he, she, and Peter the dog (what a strange, changed echo
it was), she returned, very lightly, to their discussion, tossing merely
a few reconnoitering flowers in at his open window.
She had never, since their remeeting, seemed to him so young. Holding a
little branch of birch, she broke off and aimed bits of its bark at a
tall gorse-bush near them. Peter basked, full length, in the sunlight at
their feet. The day had almost the indolent quiet of summer.
Eppie said, irrelevantly, for they had not been talking of that, but of
people again, gossiping pleasantly, with gossip tempered to the day’s
mildness: “I can’t bear the religions of peace, you see--any faith that
takes the fight out of people. That Molly Carruthers I was telling you
about has become a Christian Scientist, and she is in an imbecile
condition of beatitude all the time. ‘Isn’t the happiness that comes of
such a faith proof enough?’ she says to me. As if happiness were a
proof! A drunkard is happy. Some people seem to me spiritually tipsy,
and as unfit for usefulness as the drunkard. I think I distrust anything
that gives a final satisfaction.”
She amused him in her playing with half-apprehended thoughts. Her
assurance was as light as though they were the bits of birch-bark she
tossed.
“You make me think a little of Nietzsche,” he said.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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