The Shadow of the PastYoung, F. E. Mills (Florence Ethel Mills)
Philosophy
The Shadow of the Past
Young, F. E. Mills (Florence Ethel Mills)
South African War, 1899-1902 -- Fiction; Triangles (Interpersonal relations) -- Fiction
"What have you been doing since I left you here--so jealously guarded?
I thought I had lost you altogether. I wrote, but my letter came back
to me."
"Did you write?" Her eyes met his with a light of gladness in them. "I
thought--that was only talk."
"Did you?" His manner was faintly reproachful. "I had no idea you
would leave Mrs Graham so soon, or I'd have written before."
Brenda suddenly smiled.
"Neither had I," she said. "It was not exactly voluntary."
"You don't mean," he began quickly, and stopped, regarding her
perplexedly. "I've wondered," he added somewhat lamely after a pause,
"since getting my letter back, whether you had any trouble that night?
It wasn't, I hope, in any way due to our intercourse that you lost your
post?"
She laughed, and he thought her mirth the sweetest and most infectious
he had ever heard. He laughed with her.
"Oh Lord!" he said. "Don't tell me it was that."
"Mrs Graham waited up for me," she confessed, "and the others got back
first and admitted I hadn't gone with them. She was--oh! so angry...
There was a man who boarded there who was sorry for me; and he secured
me my present position at the cafe. It helped at the time, but of
course it's a step down."
"It's a drop, yes," he admitted. "I'm awfully sorry. You must climb
again. Life is always; climbing."
"It is easier to drop a step than to climb one," she returned.
"That isn't your philosophy really," he insisted. "I know you have
encouraged me in believing that the greater the difficulty the more
exhilarating and better worth the effort is its surmounting. It's up to
you to practise what you preach."
"Ah!" she said, and her voice sounded a little weary. "I must have been
a horrid little prig when I talked to you like that."
"You were never priggish," he asserted. "But you keep a man up to the
mark."
They walked on for a while in silence, and still in silence made their
way down to the shore, scrambling with difficulty over the slippery
rocks. When they came upon a stretch of sand he called a halt. They
seated themselves close together on the sand, and he took his coat and
put it about both their shoulders.
"The nights turn in chilly," he said. "Do you remember how hot it was
when we sat here before?"
"Yes," she replied, and drew closer to him. "Everything seems changed,"
she said,--"even you--you, perhaps, most of all."
"I know I am changed," he allowed. "I've been through a good deal since
I saw you..."
He could not, he discovered, tell her then the nature of the thing which
had changed him. He had meant to, but when he tried to express himself
he could not find the words.
"I've been through a good deal," he repeated. He played with the cold
damp sand, and his manner became more aloof, less intimate and
confidential. "Life changes most of us."
"Because life hurts," she said.
He looked at her closely, recalling the bright girlishness of her when
last they had talked together.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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