The Shadow of the PastYoung, F. E. Mills (Florence Ethel Mills)
Philosophy
The Shadow of the Past
Young, F. E. Mills (Florence Ethel Mills)
South African War, 1899-1902 -- Fiction; Triangles (Interpersonal relations) -- Fiction
For a while Matheson and his companion rode in unbroken silence. He was
busy with the thoughts which Herman Nel's disclosure had set fermenting
in his brain. The course he would follow was plain. But it was not
easy after the Kriges' courtesy to leave them summarily; it was not
possible, he felt, to do so and refuse to carry Krige's message without
causing offence. The risk had to be taken however. He could no longer
lend himself to the furtherance of a matter which he now admitted freely
he had not approved of from the first. He ought never to have allowed
himself to be mixed up in the affair. It was not easy to draw back; it
was less easy to rid himself of the influences which, spreading over
three weeks of intimate daily life with Honor--for it was always in
Honor his thoughts centred--affected him powerfully, changing all his
view of things, altering his entire perspective. It was amazing what a
grip this girl had succeeded in getting on his imagination. Try how he
would he could not shake his thoughts clear of her. Abruptly he glanced
in her direction. She rode with the reins loose on the horse's neck;
her face, which was partly averted, wore an air of abstraction, the eyes
fixed with unfocussed vision upon the distance. She too seemed to have
much to occupy her thoughts.
"I say!" he said, and broke off suddenly, not knowing after all what he
intended saying.
She turned her face and looked towards him with gravely inquiring eyes.
"I've got to go away," he jerked out after a pause. "I've got to get
back. This is very pleasant, but... it has to come to an end."
"Yes," she agreed, and looked a little puzzled--"of course. We expected
you would be leaving shortly. I'm sorry."
"I don't want to go." He was insistent on this point. "I regret
going--immensely." He paused, and added after a thoughtful moment: "For
some reasons I regret that I ever came."
"That is not very kind," she said. "No," he allowed; "it doesn't sound
kind. But... you know. You understand... I've been here too long."
"I think," she said, breaking the short embarrassed silence with a
remark so apposite that he was considerably taken aback, "that Herman
Nel's company has affected you. I did not wish to leave you with him."
"Why not?" he asked.
"He is a man who holds mistaken ideas," she replied. "In my opinion he
is a very fine man," he returned, a note of quiet admiration in his
voice. "But I don't see what grounds you have for assuming my mind to
be so responsive to tutelage. I am not more readily impressed than most
people."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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