"It was two white men, and, as usual, they knew nothing, but they had
good guns, and a fine canoe, and they paddled many days to get to the
'Indian Bush' to hunt. I was up there, across from the island in the
river, when I first saw them, and their faces were paler than any
paleface I ever saw before or since. It seems they had pulled up on the
shore, built a little campfire to make their tea and to eat, when out
of the bush arose a big black bear, gruffing and grunting and eating
berries. When they saw it they gave a worse war-whoop than the Cherokees
ever did. They reached for their guns, then started to shake and tremble
as though the bush ague were upon them. 'He's chewing!' yelled one.
'He's chewing at us, he'll eat us alive.' But the other put on a face
like a great brave. 'We'll kill him,' he said with great boasting.
'That's what we came for, to kill bears.' But just then the bear came
towards them, still eating his berries. They were too scared to fire.
One just struck him over the head with his gun, then they both turned
and made for the canoe. The blow made the bear angry as the Thunder God,
and before they could push off shore the bear got his claws on the
edge of the canoe, and away they all went sailing into midstream, the
palefaces paddling for all their lives, and the black bear clinging on
to the canoe. In their fright they had left their guns ashore, and
while one paddled, the other beat the bear's head with the paddle blade.
It was then that I first saw them. I stood on the shore with a very
sickness from laughter in all my bones." Here he ceased talking, for
Fish-Carrier and Wampum had broken into such bursts of merriment that
Fire-Flower was compelled to join them.
"Oh, that I could have seen them, that I could have seen it all!" moaned
Fish-Carrier between gasps. "That must have been a thing to make men
laugh for many moons." But Wampum said nothing; it was not the etiquette
of his race that he should join in the talk of older men, unasked, but
he, too, gulped down his uproarious laughter while Fire-Flower
proceeded.
"The black bear was getting the best of them, for the beating on the
head maddened him. He began to climb up the edge of the canoe, and his
great weight was beginning to overbalance it. I called to them, but as
I do not speak the white man's language, they did not understand. Fear
gripped at their hearts, and, as the bear climbed into the canoe, they
leaped into the river and swam for shore, while the canoe drifted slowly
down stream, the big black bear seated proudly within it like some great
brave who had scalped his enemies."
Another outburst of mirth shook his listeners.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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