"It is a great comfort, neighbor Worthy, at a certain time of life to be got above the world: my notion is, that a man should labor hard the first part of his days, that he may then sit down and enjoy himself the remainder. Now, though I hate boasting, yet as you are my oldest friend, I am about to open my heart to you. Let me tell you then I reckon I have worked as hard as any man in my time, and that I now begin to think I have a right to indulge a little. I have got my money with character, and I mean to spend it with credit. I pay every one his own, I set a good example, I keep to my church, I serve God, I honor the king, and I obey the laws of the land." "This is doing a great deal indeed," replied Mr. Worthy; "but," added he, "I doubt that more goes to the making up all these duties than men are commonly aware of. Suppose then that you and I talk the matter over coolly; we have the evening before us. What if we sit down together as two friends and examine one another." Bragwell, who loved argument, and who was not a little vain both of his sense and his morality, accepted the challenge, and gave his word that he would take in good part any thing that should be said to him. Worthy was about to proceed, when Bragwell interrupted him for a moment, by saying, "But stop, friend, before we begin I wish you would remember that we have had a long walk, and I want a little refreshment; have you no liquor that is stronger than this cider? I am afraid it will give me a fit of the gout." Mr. Worthy immediately produced a bottle of wine, and another of spirits; saying, that though he drank neither spirits nor even wine himself, yet his wife always kept a little of each as a provision in case of sickness or accidents. Farmer Bragwell preferred the brandy, and began to taste it. "Why," said he, "this is no better than English; I always use foreign myself." "I bought this for foreign," said Mr. Worthy. "No, no, it is English spirits, I assure you; but I can put you into a way to get foreign nearly as cheap as English." Mr. Worthy replied that he thought that was impossible. _Bragwell._ Oh no; there are ways and means--a word to the wise--there is an acquaintance of mine that lives upon the south coast--you are a particular friend and I will get you half-a-dozen gallons for a trifle. _Worthy._ Not if it be smuggled, Mr. Bragwell, though I should get it for sixpence a bottle. "Ask no questions," said the other, "I never say any thing to any one, and who is the wiser?" "And so this is your way of obeying the laws of the land," said Mr. Worthy, "here is a fine specimen of your morality." _Bragwell._ Come, come, don't make a fuss about trifles. If _every one_ did it indeed it would be another thing; but as to _my_ getting a little good brandy cheap, why that can't hurt the revenue much. _Worthy._ Pray Mr. Bragwell, what should you think of a man who would dip his hand into a bag and take out a few guineas?