The young man shaded his eyes with his hand as if to screen them from
the fire, but she noticed that the back of his hand hid them from her,
too. He found a difficulty in beginning. When at last he spoke, his
voice was rough with feeling.
"Of course, you'll despise me--you of all people. How could you help
it?"
Her body leaned toward him ever so slightly. Love lit her face like a
soft light.
"Shall I? How do you know?"
"It cuts so deep--goes to the bottom of things. If a fellow is wild or
even bad, he may redeem himself. But you can't make a man out of a
yellow cur. The stuff isn't there." The words came out jerkily as if
with some physical difficulty.
"If you mean about coming up to the park, I know about that," she said
gently. "Mr. Dingwell told father. I think it was splendid of you."
"No, that isn't it. I knew I was right in coming and that some day you
would understand." He dropped the hand from his face and looked
straight at her. "Dave didn't tell your father that I had to be
flogged into going, did he? He didn't tell him that I tried to dodge
out of it with excuses."
"Of course, you weren't anxious to throw up your own affairs and run
into danger for a man you had never met. Why should you be wild for
the chance. But you went."
"Oh, I went. I had to go. Ryan put it up to me so that there was no
escape," was his dogged, almost defiant, answer.
"I know better," the girl corrected quickly. "You put it up to
yourself. You're that way."
"Am I?" He flashed a questioning look at her. "Then, since you know
that, perhaps you know, too, what--what I'm trying to tell you."
"Perhaps I do," she whispered softly to the fire.
There was panic in his eyes. "--That . . . that I--"
"--That you are sensitive and have a good deal of imagination," the
girl concluded gently.
"No, I'll not feed my vanity with pleasant lies to-night." He gave a
little gesture of self-scorn as he rose to throw some dry sticks on the
fire. "What I mean and what you mean is that--that I'm an arrant
coward." Roy gulped the last words out as if they burned his throat.
"I don't mean that at all," she flamed. "How can you say such a thing
about yourself when everybody knows that you're the bravest man in
Washington County?"
"No--no. I'm a born trembler." From where he stood beyond the fire he
looked across at her with dumb anguish in his eyes. "You say yourself
you've noticed it. Probably everybody that knows me has."
"I didn't say that." Her dark eyes challenged his very steadily.
"What I said was that you have too much imagination to rush into danger
recklessly. You picture it all out vividly beforehand and it worries
you. Isn't that the way of it?"
He nodded, ashamed.
"But when the time comes, nobody could be braver than you," she went
on. "You've been tried out a dozen times in the last three months.
You have always made good."
"Made good! If you only knew!" he answered bitterly.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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