His eyes again turned apprehensively toward the house. The window was
dark; he could see nothing except the dense outlines of the square
little building against the black sky. There was a dead chill in the
air. The silence weighed upon him. He made a stealthy way to the
weather boards of the house. The touch of his numb fingers against the
frosty wood was uncanny, and he drew his hand sharply away. For a
moment he paused, and his crouching form straightened with a sudden
consciousness of its position. The deepest revulsion swept over him,
the most inordinate shame and horror. Why was he coming to her in the
dead of night, like an assassin, sneaking, cringing, shivering? With a
groan he recklessly strode forward to the dark window frame. His
fingers touched the glass of two or three panes, then the rags that
kept the wind out of others. In there she was lying asleep, alone,
breathing softly, dreaming of him perhaps. He was within ten feet of
that dear, unconscious body and she was sweetly alive--a tender
breathing thing that loved him better than life. Alive, and he had
come to take life away from her!
He had come to steal the only thing that was left to her--her life.
With wild eyes he sought to penetrate the darkness beyond the glass.
As plainly as if it were broad daylight his imagination revealed to him
the interior of the bare room. There were his drawings on the walls;
the worn ingrain carpet of green and red; the old rocking-chair and the
two cane-bottom chairs; the walnut stand with its simple cover of white
muslin, the prayer-book and the kerosene lamp; Justine's little
work-basket with its yarn, its knitting, its thread, thimble,
patch-pieces and the scissors. Across the back of a chair hung her
pitifully unfashionable dress of calico, her white underskirt, her
thick petticoat; beside the bed stood the heavy, well-worn shoes with
her black stockings lying limp and lifeless across them. The white
coverlet, rumpled and ridged by the lithe figure that snuggled
underneath; the brown hair, the sweet, tired face with its closed eyes,
sunk in the broad pillow; the gentle breathing, the regular movement of
the covers that stretched across the warm, slumbering body; the brown,
strong hand that wore his ring resting beside the cheek of the sleeper.
A sudden eagerness to clasp the hand, to hold it firm, to protect it
from something, came to him. He wondered for a moment why she should
need protection--before he remembered.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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