The Shield of LoveFarjeon, B. L. (Benjamin Leopold)
General
The Shield of Love
Farjeon, B. L. (Benjamin Leopold)
English fiction -- 19th century
"I drew up the paper at his dictation. He preferred, he said, that the
quittance should be in my own handwriting; and when he had done I
added words of thanks for the services he had rendered me, and signed
the document.
"That night he accompanied me to a club, and watched my play. I won
five hundred pounds, and we walked away together, late in the morning,
in the highest spirits. He parted from me at the door of my house.
"'Will you play to-morrow night?' he asked.
"'Of course I shall play to-morrow night," I replied, 'and every night
after that. I will get back every shilling I have lost. Look at what I
have done already; I have won five hundred pounds.'
"'It is your only chance of saving your wife and child from beggary,'
he said.
"I thought of his words as I stepped softly into the house: 'My only
chance of saving my wife and child from beggary.' It was true. It was
a duty I owed to them to continue to play and win back the fortune I
had lost. It was not my money; it was theirs. I was their only
dependence. Yes, they should not say in the future that I had ruined
their lives. Luck must change; it had commenced to smile upon me.
There entered into my soul that night, Rathbeal, the spirit of greed.
I had been too careless hitherto, too unmindful as to whether I won or
lost. Hereafter I would be more careful; I would be cunning, as the
men I played with were. I would invent a system which would break them
and every man I played with. Tired as I was, I sat down and began to
calculate chances. A newspaper was on the table, and when I had jotted
down some columns of figures, and, aided by my recollection of certain
bets I had made a night or two before, proved that had I played wisely
I ought to have won instead of lost, I took up the newspaper, and
carelessly ran my eyes down its columns. They stopped at an account of
an Englishman's marvelous winnings at Monte Carlo--forty thousand
pounds in three days. I pondered over it. If he, why not I? I would go
and get my money back there. Sometimes in the haunts I frequented
money ran short; men, winning, would leave with their gains, and there
was no one left to play with except the losers, and I knew from
experience how desperate that chance was. At Monte Carlo there was
unlimited money. You could continue playing as long as you liked, and
go away with your winnings in your pockets in hard cash. Witness this
Englishman with his forty thousand pounds in three days. But it would
be as well to take a large sum of money with me. I had over three
thousand pounds; I would make it into ten here, and then would go to
Monte Carlo to wrest back my fortune. My mind made up, I crept to my
bedroom. My wife was there, sleeping as I thought. In an adjoining
room slept my little girl, Clair. Standing at the bedside of my wife I
observed--shame upon me! for the first time with any consciousness
that I was the cause of the change--how white and thin she had become.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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