The Shield of LoveFarjeon, B. L. (Benjamin Leopold)
General
The Shield of Love
Farjeon, B. L. (Benjamin Leopold)
English fiction -- 19th century
"I was alone in the house to which I had brought my wife, a bride. All
the servants had been paid off, and had left. I had arranged this
because I could not endure that they should see the sacrifice I was
making. Memories of the past rushed upon me--of my young wife's
delight as I took her through the rooms, of the fond endearments at my
cleverness and forethought, of the happy evening we passed, sitting in
the gloaming and talking of the future. Alas, the future! How fearful
the contrast between my young bride's fond imaginings and the reality!
In solitary communing I strolled through the rooms and marked each
spot and each article hallowed by some cherished recollection. The
piano at which she used to sit and sing in the early days of our
marriage, the window from which we used to watch the sunset, the small
articles on her dressing-table--there seemed to be a living spirit in
them that greeted me reproachfully, and asked, 'Why have you done
this? Why have you blighted that fair young life?' Our Clair was born
in the house. The cot in which she slept was there, her favorite
child-pictures hung upon the wall. What pangs went through me as I
surveyed the wreck of bright hopes! 'But I will atone for it,' I said
inwardly. 'When fortune is mine once more I will confess all, and ask
my dear wife's forgiveness. Then, then for the happy future!' No
warning whispers reached me. No voice cried,' Sinner and fool! You
have done what can never be undone. Not only fortune, but love, is
lost forever!'
"If I dwell upon these small matters, Rathbeal, it is because the
impressions of that lonely hour are as strong within me now as then,
and because they are pregnant with an awful lesson.
"The hour over, the broker returned with wagons and men. As he paid me
the money his workmen commenced to remove the furniture. I left the
house to their mercies, and went to meet the men to whom I was
indebted. I paid them to the last shilling, and, honor satisfied, was
master of a sum sufficiently large, I thought, to carry on my
operations at Monte Carlo. I played at the club that night, and lost a
few pounds. It did not affect me; I was rather glad, indeed, for it
pointed to the road where wealth awaited me. I had taken a bed in a
hotel, but an impulse seized me to visit my house once more. It was
two in the morning when I turned the key and lit the hall gas. My
footsteps resounded on the dusky passages. The broker had been
expeditious; everything in the house was removed, and I seemed to be
walking through a hollow grave--but it was a grave, haunted by ghostly
shadows, eloquent with accusing voices. I shut my eyes, I put my hands
to my ears, but I still saw the ghostly shadows and heard the accusing
voices. I rushed from the house, conscience-stricken and appalled.
"The next morning my courage returned; the sun shone brightly, and I
had money, and my system, in my pocket. Away, then, to Monte Carlo, to
redeem the past!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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