The Shield of LoveFarjeon, B. L. (Benjamin Leopold)
General
The Shield of Love
Farjeon, B. L. (Benjamin Leopold)
English fiction -- 19th century
"How can you ask such a thing? You're welcome to stop if you don't
mind. This is the only room we've got, and I can't give you anything
to eat because the cupboard's as empty as my pocket."
"Oh, I'm used to that! Your heart isn't changed, Janey."
"I couldn't be hard to you if I tried; and I'm not going to
try. In Manchester you've been? You disappeared so suddenly and
mysteriously----"
"Yes, yes; but we were carrying on together long before I went away.
He wanted to get me out of London, away from him, you know: he was
tired of me, and I wasn't in the best of tempers; he got frightened a
bit, I think, because I said if he threw me over I'd have him up at
the police court when my baby was born. He's a very respectable
man--oh, very respectable!--and looks as soft and speaks as soft as if
butter wouldn't melt in his mouth. But he's clever, and cunning, and
sly, for all that, and he talked me over. I was to go away from
London, and he was to allow me so much a week. He did for a little
while, and sent it on to me in Manchester. Janey, when he first
pretended to get fond of me he promised to marry me."
"Yes, they all do that, and women are fools enough to believe em."
"I was, and I used to remind him of his promise. That was while I was
in London. When I was in Manchester he thought himself safe. Then my
baby came, and it cost him a little. I had to write to him for every
shilling almost, and he'd send me a postal order without a word of
writing to say who it came from. That made me wild, and I wrote and
said if he didn't write me proper letters I'd come back to London and
worry his life out of him. That pulled him up, and he did write, but
he never signed his name. He just put 'F.' at the bottom of his
letters; I've got them in my pocket, every one of them. Well, then I
got a situation as a shop-woman--they didn't know I had a baby, and I
didn't tell them, you may be sure--and I put by a shilling or two. It
was wanted, because his money dropped off. I lost my situation, and
then I frightened him into coming to Manchester to see me. He was as
soft and smooth as ever, and he swore to me that I should never want;
he took his oath on it, and I told him if he didn't keep it I'd make
it hot for him. Janey, you don't know the promises that man made to me
when we first came together; it was a long time before I could bring
myself to like him, but he spoke so fair that at last I gave way. And
he played me false, after all. Don't think that I wanted to sponge on
him; if I could have got my own living in an honest way.--and I never
intend to get it any other way; I'm not thoroughly bad, Janey--I
wouldn't have troubled him; but I couldn't. I have been in such
misery, that if it had not been for my child I should have made away
with myself long ago; but nothing keeps me back now. I have lost my
child; it was buried by the parish."
"Hush, Martha, hush!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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