Adventure stories; Johannesburg (South Africa) -- Fiction; South Africa -- History -- 1836-1909 -- Fiction
The head which rested on his shoulder seemed to lean heavier there; the
arm which encircled her was pressed tighter by hers to the round,
beautiful waist, as though to bring herself closer within his embrace.
The answer came, rapturously sweet, but with a thrill of pain:
"I know you could have. There is no need to think, even for a moment.
You have done it."
"I have tried to, even against difficulties. Come what may, Lilith, you
shall never be free from the spell of this love of ours. All thoughts of
other love shall be flat, and stale, and dead; and now, when I am gone,
your whole soul shall ache and throb with a sense of loss--love and pain
intertwined--yet not one pang of the latter would you forego, lest it
should lessen the rapturous keenness of the former in the minutest
degree. This is what you have caused _me_ to suffer by reason of your
stony self-command up till this morning. Now you shall suffer it too."
His tones were calm, even almost stern as those of a judge pronouncing
sentence. Lilith, drinking in every word, felt already that every word
was true. That sense of love and pain was already in possession of her
soul, and would retain possession until all capacity for feeling was
dulled and dead.
"You were cruel to draw my very soul out of me as you have done--to
force me to love you as I do," she answered--"cruel and pitiless."
"What then? I was but carrying out the program of life. It is that way.
But tell me, would you have preferred that I had not done it--that I had
passed by on the other side?"
"Oh, my Laurence, no! No, no--ten thousand times no! The mere
recollection of such an hour as this is worth a life-time of the awful
pain of loss of which you speak and which is around me already."
"That was my own judgment when I first recognized that a strong mutual
'draw' was bringing us together. I foresaw this moment, and deliberately
acquiesced in fate."
Now the soft waves of her hair swept his face, now the satin smoothness
of her cheek lay against his. Lips met lips again and again, and never
for a moment did the clasp of that firm embrace relax. The dead blank
hopelessness of life and its conditions, then, had still contained this,
had culminated in this? As he thus held her to him, as though he would
hold her forever, some dreamy brain-wave seemed to carry Laurence's mind
into the dim and somewhat awesome vistas of the future, to bring it face
to face with death in varying and appalling forms. What mattered! The
recollection of this farewell hour here, in the half-shaded room, with
its subtile fragrance of flowers and mysterious light, would be with him
then. Such an hour as this would be a crowning triumph to the apex of
life. Better that life should end than lengthen out to witness a decline
from this apex.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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