"Great Oscar! Glorious Oscar! Oscar Wilde! Fat and smooth-faced as any sucking child! Bland in self-worship, crowned with self-plucked bays, Sole object of thine own unceasing praise, None can in 'brag' thy spreading fame surpass, And thou dost shine supreme in native brass. Thou hast o'erwhelmed and conquered dead Molière With all the _mots_ of _Lady Windermere_; Thou hast swept other novelists away With the lascivious life of 'Dorian Gray.' Thine enemies must fly before thy face, Thou bulky glory of the Irish race! Desert us not, O Wilde, desert us not, Because the Censor's 'snub' 'Salome' got, Still let thy presence cheer this foggy isle, Still let us bask in thy 'æsthetic' smile, Still let thy dwelling in our centre be; England would lose all splendour, losing thee! Spare us, great Oscar, from this dire mischance! We'll perish ere we yield thee up to France! "Wise HARDY! Thou dost gauge the modern taste: Hence on man's Lust thy latest book is based-- A story of Seduction wins success, Thus hast thou well deserved thy cash for 'Tess.' Pure morals are old-fashioned--Virtue's name Is a mere butt for 'chaff' or vulgar blame, But novels that defy all codes and laws Of honest cleanness, win the world's applause, And so thy venture sails with favouring winds, Blest with approval from all prurient minds. "See where at HORSHAM, Shelley's muse is crown'd! Two Parsons and a Justice on the ground! What glorious homage doth 'Prometheus' win!-- Yet sure if ever parted ghosts can grin, Wild laughter from the Styxian shores must wake At such tame honours for the dead bard's sake; An EDMUND GOSSE doth make the day's oration, Oh, what a petty mouthpiece for a Nation! And WILLIAM SHARP, face-buried in his beard, Thinks his own works should be as much rever'd As Shelley's, if the world were only wise And viewed him with his own admiring eyes; And LITTLE (Stanley) doth with GOSSE combine To judge the perish'd Poet line by line, Granting his 'lyrics' admirably done, (Though they could match him easily, each one,) But, on the whole, he filled his 'mission' well; 'Agreed!' says CHAIRMAN HURST, J.P., D.L.!