Authors -- Fiction; Canadian fiction; Impostors and imposture -- Fiction; New York (N.Y.) -- Social life and customs -- Fiction
It was for Cordelia, perhaps, the penalty of eminence. For little as she
had ever shown any sign of sacrificing her artistic aspirations in the
rose-grown temple of matrimony, the hunger of the unmated and maturing
animal, the wavering passion that arises at times involuntarily in the
breast of the coldest priestess amid her coldest marbles, quiescent, but
quiescent only as a tiger sleeping in its noonday cave, was now not
unknown to the heart of Cordelia Vaughan. She wanted to be loved; but
above all things, she wanted to love.
The cry of ripe womanhood for its mate awoke at times, but only of late,
she knew, with an intensity that was sadly disturbing. Through her
girlhood, she remembered, she had often said with a great air that she
could never love. To love other than uprightly was even more
impossible--yet she had secretly tired of the hollow part of an Aspasia
without a Pericles. She had often tried to convince herself that she was
too happily neutral, too indeterminate of temperament, to stray from the
lonely heights to which she had so painfully climbed for the mere
passing glint of a bubble. Now, for at least once in her life, half
weary of all her comfortless basking at the too fierce fireside of her
early fame she was beginning to ask more and more passionately for some
touch of the mellow sun of actual affection, for some gentle warmth of
disinterested tenderness.
For with all her activity and with all the attention she seemed to
receive, Cordelia's life was still a desolately lonely one. An early
girlish pose of protesting a fear of men had crystallized into a habit
of evading them, except in not infrequent cases of late where they
stepped before her as instruments of literary destiny. Good men, she had
once said, are like good roads: made for walking over. As the belle of
her little Kentucky town she had held herself proudly above each and all
of her young suitors. As the successful author of a great book, as the
woman of wit and reason, she had tended to repel that attention at the
hand of the admiring male which such charm in woman as she might lay
claim to invariably called for. She had known many courtships, though,
in her own way. Yet she asked herself if she had ever known one absolute
and unselfish love.
It was Mrs. Spaulding's lightly put question that drove her into a
dreary retrospect of a youth she seldom cared to look back on. But was
this love now coming to her on belated wings?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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