The Sin of Monsieur Antoine, Volume 2 (of 2) and Leone LeoniSand, George
General
The Sin of Monsieur Antoine, Volume 2 (of 2) and Leone Leoni
Sand, George
French fiction -- 19th century
I awoke, still in his arms, and he had never put forth so much
eloquence, so much affection, so many tears, to implore his pardon. He
confessed that he was the lowest of men; but, he said, there was one
thing, and only one, that raised him somewhat in his eyes, and that was
the love he had always had for me, and which none of his vices, none of
his crimes had had the power to stifle. Hitherto he had fought against
the appearances which accused him on all sides. He had struggled against
overwhelming evidence in order to retain my esteem. Thenceforth, being
no longer able to justify himself by falsehood, he took a different
course and assumed a new rôle, in order to move me and conquer me. He
laid aside all artifice--perhaps I should say all sense of shame--and
confessed all the villainy of his life. But amid all that filth he
forced me to distinguish and to understand what there was in his
character that was truly noble, the faculty of loving, the everlasting
vigor of a heart in which the most exhausting weariness, the most
dangerous trials, did not extinguish the sacred flame.
"My conduct is base," he said to me, "but my heart is still noble. It
still bleeds for its crimes; it has retained, in all the vigor of its
first youth, the sentiment of justice and injustice, horror of the evil
it does, enthusiastic admiration of the good it beholds. Your patience,
your virtues, your angelic kindliness, your pity, as inexhaustible as
God's, can never be displayed in favor of a being who appreciates them
better or admires them more. A man of regular morals and sensitive
conscience would consider them more natural and would appreciate them
less. With such a man you would be simply a virtuous woman; while with a
man like me you are a sublime woman, and the debt of gratitude which is
piling up in my heart is as great as your sacrifices and your
sufferings. Ah! it is something to be loved and to be entitled to a
boundless passion, and from what other man have you so good a right to
claim such a passion as from me? For whom would you subject yourself
again to the tortures and the despair you have undergone? Do you think
there is anything else in life but love? For my part, I do not. And do
you think that it is a simple matter to inspire it and to feel it?
Thousands of men die incomplete, having never known any other love than
that of the beasts. Often a heart capable of loving seeks in vain where
to bestow its love, and comes forth pure of all earthly passions,
perhaps to find a place in heaven. Ah! when God vouchsafes to us on
earth that profound, passionate, ineffable sentiment, we must no longer
desire or hope for paradise, Juliette; for paradise is the blending of
two hearts in a kiss of love. And when we have found it here on earth,
what matters it whether it be in the arms of a saint or of one of the
damned? What matters it whether the man you love be accursed or adored
among men, so long as he returns your love? Is it I whom you love, or is
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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